It's been 4 days since Abel released "My Dear Melancholy," and Selena hasn't yet listened to it. The thought of her listening to it gave her heavy anxiety. She heard that Abel talked about her in the EP which made the anxiety worse. "Selena have you listened to The Weeknd's new album? And is it true that you and Justin broke up?" Selena politely asked the paparazzi to give her space which they didn't. After grabbing starbucks they still wouldn't leave her alone. "Selena is Justin just a little brother to you?" Selena stopped and looked at the camerawoman. "Do you guys mind if I can have the rest of the day because you are kind of scaring me." She said in a calm voice even though she was frightened and overwhelmed by them. The camerawoman got a little bitchy towards her. "Okay well there's other guys here." Selena started walking to her car "okay, sorry.. thank you.." she said as she got in the vehicle.
"You alright?" Her Bodyguard asked her. "Just get me out of here please.." she said as she looked down. Seconds later Selena put her earbuds in as she was listening to music. She was fighting so hard and she's been doing a good job at hiding it but she knew eventually people will realize she's battling through heavy anxiety and depression. She felt so alone in such a dark place. She got on Instagram and saw she was being tagged in either posts about Justin or posts about Abel. She didn't really want to hear about neither since she was going through a very difficult time at the moment and knew she couldn't handle anymore pain. But she was very anxious about this ep Abel put out.
She took a deep breath as she got on YouTube and clicked on the music video of Call Out My Name. The instrument was playing and her anxiety was starting to feel worse. Her heart was racing and her body was shaking. She fought through it. Till' the tears fell down her cheeks after he sung "I almost cut a piece of myself for your life". Selena's bodyguard looked over his head "are you okay?" Selena closed her eyes and held her hand in front of her face as she silently cried not wanting to be bothered.
When Selena finally got home she saw bags nearby the front door. It was suitcases that her friends packed up because they were preparing for Coachella. "Hey Sel, you're back sooner than I thought." Raquelle came walking down the stairs with a another suitcase. "What's with all the suitcases?" Selena asked her after closing the front door. "It's for Coachella baby. I packed your bag." Selena knew she couldn't go. She didn't want to put herself in that position. Knowing both Abel and Justin was going to be there. She knew she had to spare the drama.
"I'm not going. I don't want to attend an event where both of my ex's will most likely attend. Don't know if Justin will be there but I for sure know Abel will be..." Raquelle understood where her friend was coming from. She didn't want to put her in a bad situation. "Are you okay?" Raquelle saw her face was puffy and eyes were baggy. "Yeah... I'm fine. I'm just tired.. going to take a little nap." Selena lied as she walked up the stairs.
Selena shut her door as she leaned her forehead against it as the tears started to fall once again. She walked to the bed and sat down at the edge of it. She leaned down and pulled out a bottle of wine. She took the cap off and started drinking quite a bit. As the tears continued to fall. She pulled her phone out and went through her camera roll. Some pics of just herself, some with family, some with friends, some with Justin, and some with Abel. She stopped at a picture of her and Abel....
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"W-We were so in love" her voice was soft and shaky as she spoke those words quietly to herself. Her heart was aching tremendously. She felt physically and emotionally tired. She got her heart broken the moment Abel broke up with her. Then she went back to Justin and thought she can finally trust him and get what she always wanted, which was to settle down and he fucked her over. She regretted going back to Justin out of hurt and revenge because now she's left with nothing. She chugged the rest of the bottle before standing up. She walked to her dresser and pulled out the x'o ring that Abel once gave her.
Selena was curled in bed as she was playing the entire ep of "My Dear Melancholy,". She was wearing the x'o ring on her ring finger. She had in the back of her mind that she was going to call Abel and spill her whole heart out to him. Call Out My Name made her feel so bad about every thing. Try Me gave her hope. Wasted Times made her feel worthless. By the time she finished with Privilege she knew she couldn't say or do anything to get him back. He went from wanting her to call out his name to saying how she wasn't half as Bella from telling her to stay away from him. She closed her eyes as she kissed the x'o ring before sliding it back off of her finger.
