Annulment Papers

Epilogue: A life without her

Epilogue: A Life without her

        Few years have passed since Jurri died yet the memories still haunt Thomas as if all of it happened yesterday. The feel of his wife slowly drifting to forever sleep. The sound of her voice slowly fading. Each memory of her smile and laughter never fails to bring an unbearable sadness in him because no matter how much he remember things about her, all he could do is relieve each memory and live inside his mind every once in a while hoping to remember the warmth of her touch and the feel of her inside his arms.

"Daddy, when is mommy coming back?" His son asked with a very curious face.

"Tommie, how many times do I have to tell you, Mommy is never coming back." It's been a years since he started telling it to his son and until now his voice shakes when he speaks those words. Because even himself hopes that he could wake up one day and realized that everything that happened is nothing but a nightmare.

"No Daddy! Mommy will come back. You see, remember when we went to Disneyland? We bought a ticket and we ride the airplane. Then we ride the airplane again so we could come home. Mommy told me she had a ticket to heaven, that means she'll ride an airplane to heaven and ride an airplane going back here again. To us!" Tommie explained childishly.

        Thomas focused himself on the road and smiled bitterly. Regrets, that's all he has now.

"Okay kiddo, be good in school. I'll pick you up later." Thomas said as he fixed his son's shirt.

"Daddy can you just come with me? I'm scared. What if my teachers won't like me?" Tommie pouted.

"They will kiddo. Come on, give daddy a hug. I'll pick you up later and we'll buy ice cream for dinner." He said, mocking a shildish tone. Tommie obliged and hugged him.

"You promise?" Tommie asked half-smiling.

"I promise." He said and watch his son walk inside the classroom.

        Thomas drove through a flowershop and bought an expensive boquet of white and pink roses. Then he went to his new favorite place. He laid the flowers on the ground and a basket of food.

"Hey there beautiful, how are you?" He paused and sat down on the ground. "I bought you flowers and cooked your favorite food. I'm sorry I missed to visit you last week, I was busy enrolling Tommie in his new school." Thomas exhaled loudly and looked up. "You know, Tommie still hopes that you're coming back...even I hope that you will. Funny right? I sounded so pathetic but I can't help it. I miss you so much. J-jurri...tell me how to let go! Beacuse I fuckin' don't know how!" He didn't realized he was already crying until he buried his face in his palms and felt his tears running down. "I-I'm sorry I don't know how to be happy without you. I saw the video you left me...you're beautiful, even until now,...God! I'm talking to myself. But I want you back...I want you back." He cried like a child. No one has ever seen him as weak as crying his heart out. Only one person knows his weakness and that one person is already lying six feet under the ground. Thomas composed himself and plastered a smile.

"You know, I wanted to die with you. But then, we can't just both leave Tommie alone, can we? I'm not a mess in the kitchen anymore. I learned how to cook, do house chores and even take care of Tommie. Among all the promises I made to you before you drifted away, I still don't know how to be happy. I can't be happy. How can I be happy? If the person behind my happines left me...I miss waking up every morning with you beside me. I miss those notes you gave to me. I miss the feeling of receiving a scrapbook in our anniversary. I miss the feeling of holding you inside my arms every night. The memories of you is the only thing I have right now." Thomas smiled and wiped his tears away. "I guess that's all I want to say to you right now. I'll be back the next days to visit you and talk to you. I still need to go to work." He chuckled and stood up. "I just stopped by to say I loved you, I love you and I still love you." With that, he turned around and left. Carrying a burden of sadness and longing.

-END-

~ There will be a sequel entitled "Contract Papers." Stay updated! ^_^