Langst Oneshots

The Lies You Have Said

I am so sorry for this

Tw: Self harm, break up, suicide, and pure angst with barely any fluff. Also its very bad.

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I knew.

I knew it wouldn't last. He said it himself, that he usually doesn't fall for too long. That he would probably get bored after a few weeks, or day even.

But I wanted it to be forever so we decided that it would either be forever, or shattered like a broken mirror.
He said he wasn't sure if he was even into guys, but I ignored it. I should have known better than to think that 'guys' meant me.

Tears roll down my obnoxiously red face, even though I try so hard to hold it all in and pretend it's all fine.

I knew, so why does it hurt so bad?

A chocked up sob escapes my marked lips. He always told me to not chew my lips.
He would gently pull my lips out and lightly scold me about it, then lay down a feather-like kiss on them. I never stopped.

He would stare at me, then give me a light frown when I winked at him. He never wanted us to go public.

My heart felt like it up lit aflame and my head felt like it was screwed to a wall. Oh, god how bad it hurt.

"Please, please lie to me." I look down as my body and legs began to shake. My eyes sting from how many times I have cried over this.
"Please give me some type of motivation. One last lie, please."

"....what?" Keith asked quietly.

I never actually liked lying, so I can see where he got confused.

"I need to hear it one more time, even if you don't mean it," I hiccup. "Please."

He looked up at me for the first time. His expression changed when he saw how big of a shattered mess I was.

A big, broken mess layed across from me. We broke and curled against the floor, because we not only shattered, but we down in flames. And the flames only spread to the forest where my body layed, to consume what was rest of me.

My legs gave out and my sobs become more loud. I continue to mutter and plead. I hate how big of a fucking baby I must look like.

He looked hesitant but finally gave in.

"I love you." My body shakes and my throat burns as throw up begins on it's way out of my throat.

He walked away, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

I broke down even more as rain started to pour down on my torn-up soul. Oh, god, it hurts. It hurts and I want it to stop and to borther someone else.

It shouldn't hurt, because I knew!
I knew it wouldn't last.
I knew how big of a mistake I am, so why?

I race down to the bridge, and look below at the crashing waves. Before I could even climb the railings, I slowly fall down the railings with my hands cluching onto the bars.

Broken why's fall out of my mouth as my throat hurts more and more.

"Why?"

----time skip----

"News on the missing Cuban Boy; He was found dead in the water, 163.4 feet below the bridge, and on a pile of sharp rocks with crashing waves from the ongoing storm from the past week.

"Words carved into his arms by what looks like a sharp piece of wood."

I Knew

I knew

I knew

So why does it hurt so bad?