Held between Raye's fingers as she gazed out into the dead night was a cigarette, slowly drawing closer to stubble and against her fingers.
It burned away as she leaned against the opened window, staring down the few stories into the streets— her mind was troubled and it usually happened from time to time. Ever since she'd reconnected with Brienna, she often found herself reminiscing and on things that would leave her angry, regretful and in a state of overall depression.
The ordeal with Brienna being in danger that transpired a while ago really was a hard thing to get over and she was a living testimony to that; she could only imagine what her sweet Brie would go through without her even knowing. Such deep and heavy thinking would lead her down a road of sadness and fear, but never for herself.
She feared for Brie and the lives of everyone she knew. They all acted as if things were going to be smooth now that she'd done some drastic changes, but Raye knew otherwise. It was only a matter of time before something was conjured jeopardising the lives of everyone she knew and loved again. That was usually a hard thing to dwell on but she needed to. There was never going to be a happy ending from this or if it did it would require a lot to get there and as she sucked away on the bud as a coping mechanism, she saw it.
Bit by bit things were starting to unfold yet again and she knew something was coming, she felt it in her heart which was why she was doing her best to help Brie's brother. Keeping him out of trouble meant a lot than what most people involved at the time knew.
Raye didn't want things to escalate further which was why she was trying.
Putting the cigarette out on the ashtray that was laid on the windowpane beside her, Raye allowed the last hue of smoke to ease from her lips and nostrils, her eyes snapping shut for a bit as she momentarily meditated.
It was still completely dark out, perhaps three in the morning and Brienna was fast asleep but she couldn't. For the longest time, she had been finding it hard to stay asleep unknown to her love. There were things that were far too dark and sinister speak of that kept her up. Keeping them to herself and battling it on her own was what she was accustomed too despite knowing Brienna would kill to be there to help.
In her mind, it would be a burden to trouble Brie with her problems, problems no one knew she faced because she never behaved as if she had any but she did— even the moon must probably be worrying at nights, so it wasn't uncommon, she just chose to keep it to herself.
Making sure the window was back in place and locked, Raye, made her way into the bathroom to rinse her mouth from the stench of the cigarette before heading to bed to find that Brienna was still fast asleep. Inside the dimly lit room, she could see the curls of the girl's full head of hair laying against her face while her low steady breathing was the thing that kept the room alive. It caused a smile to curve at Raye's lips as she moved forward, fixing herself back onto the bed and snuggling up against Brie. Immediately, she wrapped her body around her and Raye giggled softly.
"What?" Brienna questioned, her voice thick with sleep and her eyes Raye was certain hadn't even budged open at all.
"Nothing baby, I'm sorry I woke you, go back to sleep." She whispered to her, stroking her head as it rested against her chest. She listened as her breathing became low and steady again before closing her own eyes so as to invite sleep. It came shortly afterwards, and she dreamt of nothing, as usual, the most nightmarish thing ever.
* * * *
The soft clicking of her fork against the plate as she ate her eggs was the only sound heard within the room. For the first time in forever, Brie was witnessing as Raye sat in total silence eating her breakfast and it made her stomach feel as though there was a hole deep inside. Never had the girl done something of that nature, not even when they were upset with each other would she do that, so it was more than just a little strange now. Of course, Brie had tried finding the root cause for the silence and the gloominess but Raye quickly composed herself and forged a very realistic fake smile further on.
