Dear Diary (Sequel to BTGOKISB) (Katy Perry Fanfiction)

Chapter 1 (Loss)

Dear Diary,

It has been a month since my family is gone... I miss them so much. I was supposed to go with them, I was supposed to die with them that night... I could have saved Tammy or any of my parents... I know that it is my fault that they are gone... 

That night... when Nathan came to visit me, I should have been more alert... I should have listened to him... I should not have ignored him... He told me that our house was going to burn all of them, why did I just treat it as a dream? I should have known that whenever Nathan visits me, there is something real that he has to tell me or will tell me. Why did I not listen and wake them up?

There was a terrible fire in the middle of the night... our house was completely burnt into ashes with my parents and my sister in it... the doors and windows were all blocked... it was impossible for them to have lived through that... This is all my fault... 

When the neighbours came and the firemen came, all was too late... the house was already engulfed into flames... no one could have seen it comming and no one could have stopped it... except me...

Get me through this please... I miss them so much... help me... dear diary...

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(Catherina's POV) 

I closed my diary and locked it as tears rolled down my cheeks. I cannot believe that my family is gone. I am now back in LA, hiding in a little flat. I changed my hair colour and constanly wore sunglasses and a facemask. I always had dreams about getting caught by Katy again when I am out and about and having to explain to her on everything. I cannot go back anymore now, not with my betrayal to Alexis and John. I promised that I will go back after XXX is revealed, but I chickened out... but I cannot know the truth and go back to Katy's pretending that nothing has happened. She lied to me, although I know that she did that to protect me from the truth, but it was still lying. It is a white lie, but still, it is counted as being dishonest. She promised that she will always be truthful to me, after she left me, after everything that we have gone through. 

A part of me is very angry at her for lying to me again, she could have told me about that, she had so many chances to do that, to tell me about everything, but she did not take any of them because she was a coward. But the other part of me understands why she did not tell me. With all the other loss that I was going through with Nathan and a new school, new mother, I knew why she did not want me to worry about my rapist dad. There was not really a time when she could sit down with me and tell me about it. 

I pushed everything out of my head and went to make myself some food. I have been telling myself that the day that I recover from my severe depression, anxiety and other problems, it will be the day when I go back home to Katy, and this time, I will really treat her like my mother because I don't really have a mother or a father anymore. 

I cleared my thoughts out of my head and switched the television to catch up with the news. Katy is now in Australia, getting on with her tour and her life, but I know that she is not happy. People are judging her for losing her mind as she lost her daughter, they laugh at her and tease her for having no love at all in her life, which is all my fault. I do not exactly have a life, I have lost everyone that I ever loved. First  Nathan, then my family, then Katy and Alexis, and finally Josh. This all leads back to one question, why am I still alive? 

I watched the entertainment news while I ate my sandwich, nothing really caught my eye, except for the report about Katy.

'The pop sensation Katy was spotted yesterday at Melborne, but there was something wrong. Photos prove that there are deep and serious cuts on Katy's wrist. Does this have to do with the loss of her daughter? Or is she just drawing attention? Tweet us to tell us what you think!'

My nerves raged as I heard the news, One part for the people saying such things about Katy, the other part is Katy for self harming. How could she do this? She should know better after what happened to me. I got up and packed up my things as I set off to Katy's mansion. Something has to be done...