Dear Diary (Sequel to BTGOKISB) (Katy Perry Fanfiction)

Chapter 5 (Sisters' Struggles)

(Angela's POV)

I stood in front of Katy's massive front gates and sighed. Why did I even agree to do this? Whatever that she believes in cannot be true at all. Someone dead cannot come back to life and just go home, that is just not possible at all. I have no idea why she believes that Catcat can be still alive. I dragged my suitcase and unlocked the pin code as I entered her mansion.

I laid my stuff down and searched the house. There were something different and wrong about the house. It feels as if there is someone in there, when there clearly cannot be. I circled the ground floor but there was nothing to be found except a used cup half filled with water. I proceeded to Katy's room and Catcat's room and there was something on Katy's bed. It was a letter with a little envelope and there was a little bump there. I picked it up, hoping to find out who it was from. 'Someone who you loved the most' was what was written. It was dated the day that Katy said that someone got into her house, but this cannot be what it seems like to be. 

A part of me tells me that I should call Katy and bring her the letter, but the other part of me tells me that I cannot do so. I cannot bring more false hope into her life, she already has this rather pathetic theory that Catcat is still alive and is somewhere out there. Giving her this will just give her more reasons to believe that Catcat is still alive. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore my conscience, who was screaming at me telling me to do the right thing. I opened it and read every single word of the hand writen letter...

 Dear Katy,

I am so sorry for what I have put you through. I know that it is not fair for you to lose me again after such a short period of time being together. Although the times being with you are extremely short, but it was one of the best times of my  life. I know that I do not deserve to say anything, but I really do not want you stepping in my footsteps, I have been there before and I know how unpleasant it is, but you have to stay strong. Let someone help you, or let Dear Diary help you... you have to let someone in Katy... I am sorry that I left you that way, but I love you so much and I am so, so sorry Katy,,, I love you...

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Catcat left her another charm, one of the ones that she makes all the time. This time it is a little pendent with "Stay Strong' carved onto it. Pain filled my heart as I sat down on the couch that is now completely covered with dust. It really cannot be Catcat, but right in the palm of my hand is the prove. I grabbed the keys and left before I could waste another second. I got into my car and drove back to Santa Barbara. But wherever I go I will never be able to escape from the technology of mobile phones.

'Hey Angie! Did you find anything? Was it really Catcat that was there?'

'Katy I am so sorry... I know you really wanted it to be  true... but   it's not... it was not Catcat, it is just the system... I am so sorry...'

Then there was a long pause. I could hear sniffing through the phone, and I could definately see her collapsing to the ground and crying. 'Katy I am so sorry... are you alright?'

'Yes Angie I'm fine... I am so sorry that I made you go all the way home for my stupid ridiculous theory...I am so sorry...'

'It's fine... I am so sorry that I have dissapointed you.'

(Katy's POV)

I stormed out of the hotel in my shorts and tank top as I detangled my earphones and blasted music into my eardrums, begging the soundwaves to drown me. I had my sunglasses on, but it did not take the paparazzi long to recognise me. I clearly was not thinking straight as I went into the public without my jacket, so my arm and wrist and everything is exposed. They, of course took the chance and crowded me as they saw that I was by myself. I covered my face with my arms, hoping at the same time my face can hide my arm. The cameras and flashed pushed into me and bugged me. I screamed in pain as someone tugged onto my hair.

'Hello Katy! Why so lonely out here? Oh look! Katy your cuts! It's true!'

'Oh my god Katy!'

'Katy come on! Look up and give us a shot of your pretty face!'

'Please... leave me alone...'

'Leave you alone? Princess you are too pretty! Come on! Give us a shot so that everyone can be happy!'

'Please go away and leave me alone! You cannot do this!'

'Go away? Princess you are too precious! Come on!'

'Katy if you want us to leave you alone come and give is a bathing suit shot!'

'Come on! Katy strip!'

I tried my best to sheld myself. I felt like a hopeless chick surrounded by hundreds of foxes who want to eat me. I could see there were other tourists who realized who I was and attemped to help. There were couples who tried to push into the crowd and drag me out of hell, but there were way too many demons trying to get to me. I tried my best to take my tears and fear back in as I tried my very best to push through the men.

I pleaded and begged but they were not willing to let me go. I felt completely stranded. I signed up to sing, perform and to inspire people, and not to get tortured by media both mentally and physically. I started to regret comming out here alone, but then I remembered that I cannot really depend on my crew anymore because they will judge me as everyone else would. 

The only person that will ever understand me is Catcat. If only she were here with me... I would not have to suffer like this. I kept my head down as I ignored the nuisance that I was surrounded in. There was no way that I could get away with this. I hated it when people give me conditions. I did not want to give in to them and give them a bikini shoot, but is there another way?

I was about to take off my top when two cops approached me and freed me. The paps were forced to leave or else they could face criminal charges. I thanked the police, thankful that humanity still exist in some. I walked onto the beach and sat by a side as I tried to calm down and think things through. 

Dear Diary,

What should I do? Even my closest friends are now judging me. Where have I gone wrong that this has to happen to me? I don't deserve this. Was it all a mistake? Wanting to be famous? Angie loves me, and I love her so much, but she has just broke my heart by confirming that my only hope is gone. Catcat is not going to come back. All those dreams... all those imagination, they are all fake. She's gone, and she is never comming back... this is all because of my fame. If I was not famous I would have known how to be a decent mother... I would have taken good care of her, and Catcat would not have had to die at such a young age...

I don't think the hole in my heart will ever be filled up ever again. A huge part me is missing... and it is never going to come back to me. How do I go on? I have been trying... I really have, but it all seems useless. What should I do? Should I just end it all so I can be back with Catcat? Lead me, dear diary...