I. L'instant [H.S]

XLI

I stand up from the chair, throwing the rest of the drink into the drain.

"You haven't talked to her, then?" Matt asks, looking at his phone.

"There's two. Which one?"

Mike laughs, stuffing his face with more crisps. "Jules, right?"

"I meant Emilia. You haven't talked to her?"

"No, she doesn't want me to." I state, feeling exasperated at the woman. "Are you done?"

Not even waiting for their answers, I take the glasses in the counter and throw them into the sink. The rattling noise should alarm me but right now I don't give a shit if they break. I'm tired, too tired of pretty much everything. The reminder of my fucking up it's still sitting at the end of the bookcase, the small leather bag Jules told me would be picking up today after I told her I couldn't be with her anymore gets my attention for a second. She asked me why and I couldn't bring myself to lie to her, not again.

She should've throw something at me, call me a fucking asshole, anything, but she simply nodded, crying. She told me she wanted me to be happy and that she knew she wasn't the one for me, but she'd tried.

I wasn't even sad, just relieved it was over. That I didn't have to pretend I felt something for her other than sympathy, she's nice, she's beautiful and I know more than a handful would tell me how much of an idiot I am for leaving someone so attractive and kind, but I couldn't keep up. Not after what happened.

Emilia's the only thing that's been revolving around my head, much more constantly than before, it's like she's spread inside of me. I can't begin to forget about the way she looked that night, how mind blowing that kiss was, how my name sounded off of her full lips as she begged for me, calling out for me all the while I held her against my body, pressed so I could feel every inch of her.

The only thing I want to do is think of her, of that moment and how great it was, because I'm done trying to act on it further, she ignored my call when we agreed on talking about it, about us. It's clear she's messing up with me, she's just using me as some kind of rebound from her failed relationship. If one thing I know about Emilia is that she hates loosing the upper hand, she's always been too prideful and what happened with that asshole surely fucked her ego up.

But I don't really care about that right now, all I want is for this two to go the fuck away and leave me alone, stop asking me about Emilia or Jules so I can get in my bed and remind myself of the way Emilia's body reacted to mine, how she'd bite into my lips and pull me down to her, how demanding and bossy she was. I fucking loved it.

You're so damn pathetic, Harry. Into what the actual fuck have you become?

"You sure you don't wanna go?" Mike asks as I literally push them out of my place.

I shake my head, walking them out as fast as I can. "No, for the fifth time. I don't."

Matt chuckles, "Let's go man. This one's gonna sulk over his misery again."

"What the fuck is your problem, mate?" I ask, too fucking tired of his shitty mood lately.

Mike steps out into the hall, watching as Matt keeps on laughing at me as if it was actually funny. I swear, if they don't leave bloody soon I'm going to bust Matt's face into the floor for being such a snide bitch. He's been taking the things I say like a fucking joke lately, it's like we're not even friends anymore or he doesn't care enough to actually do anything else other than laugh or make witty fucking comments.

"Look mate, you're always loosing your shit because of her." Matt shrugs, as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Fuck you." I push him the fuck out of my flat. "Good thing you don't have to listen to my shit anymore."