I. L'instant [H.S]

LXVIII

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind."

Harry whispers down my ear as we go through the crowded streets of Portobello market. The days have grown colder in the last week and winter is definitely taking its toll on today's rather damp and cloudy morning. But looking for new-old trinkets to add to my collection of antiques is one of the things I couldn't miss, specially because around the holidays the few vendors I already know tend to get the rarest objects on sale.

"And what did you?" I murmur, looking at an old oil lamp.

Pressing me a bit closer to his body, he chuckles out. "You can guess."

I turn to look up at him. "Oh, you should've said so." I smirk but keep walking by the massive table set up with all kinds of antiques. "Just a bit more."

He rolls his eyes dramatically. "Alright, minx."

An hour later we're finally driving out of the car park and into a less crowded area. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you."

Harry looks at me, frowning for a second. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Well.." I sigh. "Last week, I went to my mother's to have roast with the family." I explain, taking my time, Harry nods, his attention on me and the road ahead. "And I saw this beautiful Ford Cortina parked outside her house." I smile, running my hands down the leather of Harry's own Ford Capri.

"Really?" Harry smirks.

"Yeah, an MK3." I grin back, leaving aside the single thing that's stopped me from growing too excited about the whole thing. "Anyway, it's black and taken care of to the last detail."

He looks at me with a delighted grin. "Alright, so? Is it your granddad's?"

"No, that's the thing. When I asked my family about it, my mother said it was mine." I state, the strange combination between dread and anxiety crawling up my throat at the memory. "That my father left it for me."

"Left it?" Harry's eyes widen slightly.

"Oh, no. I mean, he left it for me because he went back to Scotland." I say quickly. "He hasn't died.." I add with a whisper. "Anyway, the thing is I don't know what to do about it."

Harry nods once, his eyes focused ahead as he moves his hand to my knee. "Can I be honest?"

His slight chance of tone makes me gulp. "Yes, please do."

"It's a car." he states. "It might sound stupid but that's just what it is. You clearly like it, Lia." he gives me a quick smile. "If he left it for you, then it's yours. You shouldn't give it much thought -I know how you feel about him." he adds, looking at me in the eye. "He's a prick for what he did. The fact that he gives you a car or the rest of his possessions doesn't change that."

My breath slows down and my chest feels heavy. "But what if he thinks that, me accepting the car is some sort of-"

"Then he's clearly daft." he scoffs. "You don't owe him shit, Emilia. It's the other way around. If you want the car, then take it." he adds. "Don't ever feel like it means anything other than what it is, a gift. That's it. Plain and simple. It doesn't mean you want to forgive him or that you're ready to talk to him."

His words are serious, calm. I know he means well but I can't help to feel like he's being quite crude about it all. Harry's always been like that and that's one of the things I love the most about him, his stern point of view, his honest and raw way of thinking. But even if he's right, I still think it could give both my mother and my father the wrong idea. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk to him or if he's ever coming back to try and see me again. For what's happened in the past, I'm leaned to think he's going to vanish for years, perhaps try to come here again when I'm well past my mid-30's.