I. L'instant [H.S]

XLVI

I look at myself in the mirror for the fifth time.

"This isn't it." I whisper, completely desperate and out of my fucking mind. "Shiiiiiiiit."

An hour I've been putting and taking off clothes like a madwoman, feeling I unlike myself and doubting every single thing I decide to put on. It's all because I'm a ball of nerves and the idea of Harry coming in less than forty minutes it's killing ever neurone in my brain.

Enough. I can't go looking inside my closet anymore and waste time that I could perfectly be using for putting on shoes or have a cup of tea to settle myself before he gets here. So I pick whatever catches my eye when I take a final glance at my open wardrobe. Just twenty minutes later as I'm checking the long beige dress trousers aren't wrinkly, relentless knocking and muffled-up noises startle me.

"A minute!" I shout, pulling the low squared neck black top over my head. "I'm coming!" I say when the knocking comes back after a few seconds.

I knew I shouldn't have wasted so much time. Rushing through the small hallway of my flat, I check my hair in the reflection of my phone. It's a bit frizzy but the blunt cut still shows up so I guess that's alright. I haven't had the chance to put on any make up but then Harry's earlier than he said he would so he'll have to just wait.

"Open up!" somebody calls, laughing.

"Oi!" a familiar voice adds. "Em, mate! It's freezing out!"

As I unlock the door and swing it open, I see more people than I thought I would tonight. Michel, and Matt laugh and grin out, completely happy as they stand right behind Harry, looking at me with a murderous look in his face.

"Emilia!" Matt chants, walking past everyone and pecking me on the cheek. "Ready?"

"Ready for what?" I ask, confused as Michael kisses me too and steps right in.

Harry takes a step forward as both lads go into my kitchen and start making loud noises. I'd care about what they're doing but all I can focus on it's the way man standing in front of me. Dressed in all black and pointed Chelsea's, he stares at me up and down, raising a brow but not smiling whatsoever.

I step to the side, allowing him to walk in. "These two wants us to go to a party." he says with a low, husky voice.

"So we're going?" I don't know if I should feel bad about not having time for us to spend together, alone, but right now all I can think about it's the way he looks.

He's about to reply but then both Michael and Matt come back, laughing and snickering about something. They both look kinda sharp, dressed in skinny jeans and dress shirts, boots and coats. Michael's hair is up in a bun as usual, his long pale face barely modified by a light stubble while Matt just looks his usual self though his hair's a bit longer than I last saw him.

"Ready then?" Michael asks, throwing his arm around my shoulders. "Alex and the rest are there already. C'me on, let's get going."

This all feels sort of strange but then Harry simply stands aside, looking like he might kill someone or break something though he makes no attempt to say no or tell them to fuck off as he usually does. It's odd.

"Where's this party exactly?"

"In my house." Michael says with a grin. "Sofia's throwing a bash so I lent her my place."

Matt opens the front door, lighting a cigarette. "Let's go, Em."

"Okay, just.." I look at Harry one more time but he simply stares back at me. "Give me a minute while a finish getting ready, alright?"