Chapter 30

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A couple weeks past, the losers didn't see Henry at all, or his friends. And Eddie never told anyone what he did, and no one ever questioned him. Henry never told anyone Eddie did it either, since he "actually" felt bad for him and Richie. Eddie hung out with the losers sometimes, but tried keeping time to himself. He had to talk to Stan since he lived there but he would just hide in the bathroom and cry. That also means he hadn't seen Richie, since the day of the breakup. Eddie missed Richie dearly, he hated being away from him but it was his fault. But it also wasn't.

Richie on the other hand hung out with the losers a bit, but most of the time they just would check on him. He's been writing quite a bit, about how he's feeling. Unfortunately he only had negative thoughts. He's been showering and eating now, but he still was scared of Eddie. Seeing his face. He tells the losers he's getting better but he still cries most nights, he misses the memories. He didn't just lose his boyfriend, but his best friend. He missed him so much, he missed his own happiness he felt around Eddie. He just missed being happy.

Richie and Eddie were the "fun" ones and not many of the losers were as happy without the two. The losers missed them bickering at each other, they were distant from them. The five losers hung out almost everyday but it wasn't the same, they weren't as happy.

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Richie looked at his ceiling, peacefully listening to his music. The next song came on, which reminded him of Eddie.

He sighed deeply, then decided to write a letter in his notebook.

Dear Ed's, i didn't know if I should right this down or not but I need to say something. You hurt me. You really fucking did, and I think you know that. But I'm also concerned for you, I know you didn't wanna break up with me. I'm worried for you. Or maybe I'm being naive and you couldn't stand me anymore. I keep telling the losers that I'm getting better, but I cry most nights. I'm really really missing you, maybe you feel the same or maybe you've moved on. I'm not sure, I haven't heard from you but maybe it's okay. I'm still waiting for you to tell me what Henry said but I know it's one of the reasons you broke up with me. But if I did anything, I'm really sorry. I miss you so much, it hurts so bad. But I'm not ready to forgive you yet, I can't. No matter how much it hurts, I can't. But I miss being your boyfriend, most importantly your best friend. I miss cuddling with you most days, I miss your cheeky little smile. I miss your laugh, I miss being happy with you. I miss the way you made me feel. I miss our late night talks, and our little dates. I miss us, I don't think I can do it without you. So please, don't give up on us, with everything we went through how can I just be a friend? I still have hope, but I'll leave you alone if that's what you want. God I don't know what I'm thinking, I don't even know if you're thinking about me as much as I think about you. I just miss you, and..

I love you.

I love you so much it hurts. So please, please don't give up on us. With all my heart, all my love, come back to me...
- Richie

A few tear drops fell on the page. He folded the letter, and wrote Eddie's name on the back. He put on his favourite black and white Hawaiian shirt. He walked down the stairs and outside.

He quickly rode his bike to Stans, making sure no one was there. He walked up to the door, and sighed. He breathed heavily, and knocked. He slid the letter underneath the door and ran to the side of the house, before someone opened the door.

Eddie.

Richie's heart pounded, but his stomach dropped when he saw his face. It looked like he'd been crying more than him. He expected Eddie to go back inside but he picked up the letter and put it in his pocket. He looked around then started walking.

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