Falling slowly then all at once ( 5SOS & Ashton Irwin )

Chapter 34

The slow song ends and Ashton pulls me into a hug. We just have a long hug in the middle of the stage. 

He says " How do you like it so far? "

I say " Its..perfect. "

He says " Im glad you liked it. "

I say " Thank you so much. "

He says " Anything for my babe. "

I say " I love you Ashton. "

He says " I love you to Caitlyn. So damn much. "

I smile and lean up and kiss him. Fans scream and cheer. I giggle into the kiss and pull back. I stand on my toes and quickly peck his nose. He smiles and laughs. 

I say " Come on. "

He says " Where are we going? "

I grab his hand and start dragging him to a place. 

I say " You will see. "

He starts following me. I take him back behind the stage. Its quiet and no one is here. 

He says " I need to show you something. I hate to break the mood but you need to know. "

I say " what is it? "

He says " Just this. "

He lifts his wrist up and i see the fresh red marks that ruined my life. I stare at it and my knee's start going weak. 

I say " Wha what happened? "

He says " I told you. It haunts me. "

I say " Dont give me that shit! Thats not just a haunting! And we both know it!" 

He says " Im sorry Caitlyn! "

I say " ANd you expect me to believe that! We had a deal. If you do it, i do it ten times worse. Im sticking to that. "

I turn and storm off in the direction of the crowd. I watch as he surrounded by fans. Tears fall down my cheeks. A few people try to talk to me but i just run off. I call a taxi to get them to take take me home.Once it gets there i climb in and we head off in the direction of my house. once we get there the car stops. 

" You alright hunny? "

I look up and sigh.

I say " No, but ill get through it.  "

She says " Are you sure? What happened? "

I say " Somebody broke a promise that was really important. "

I pay her and climb out. I go inside the house and straight to my room. I go into the bathroom and pick up my razor. I smash the plastic in it and pick the razor out. I hold it to my left wrists and slide it across putting  some pressure. I do it 8 more times. The go to my other wrists and do the same. The whole time im crying im staring at my braclet. Blood starts dripping to the floor as i carelessly let my arms bleed. I lay down on the grouond in the bathroom and let all my tears spill. 

Its been about a hour and a small puddle as formed around my arms. I just have been staring at the wall. I think Ashton loves me but he keeps hurting me. Worse than i ever could of thought of. 

I hear the door open and some rumbling and screaming. Not my name, like cheering. I hear the step come closer to me and i quickly pull my sleeves down and go into my room. I open my phone and fake scroll htrough it. The door opens and Luke shead pops in. 

I say " Come on in. "

He says " Tonight rocked! Why did you leave early? "

I say " Oh, just a little sick. Didnt feel good. "

He says " You have been crying. "

I say " Well, yeah. I was thinking of leaving. "

He says " Oh im sorry. "

I look down at my hands and see blood start going down my fingers.

I say "I uhm." 

He says " What the hell is that? "

He grabs my arm and pulls my sleeve up. 

I say " Oww! Luke stop your hurting me. "

He says " What the hell Caitlyn! Why did you do that. "

I say " What did Ashton tell you? "

He says " That you got a ride home. "

I say " Was he distant or anything? "

He says " Yeah he was. You guys didnt break up did you? "

I say " No no. Not that. He has fresh cuts. He didnt keep to his promise but i kept to mine. "

He says " What was th epromise. "

I say " If he cuts i cut ten times worse, if i cut he cuts ten times worse. "

He says " Oh. He's down stairs. Would you like me to get him to talk to you? "

I say " Can i have help cleaning up the mess? "

He looks around and looks back at me

He says " There is no mess." 

I say " I wish that was true. "

I get up and open the bathroom door. His eyes land on the small puddle and frowns. He goes in there and see's my blade on the sink. He grabs it and flushes it down the toliet. He puts some paper towles over the blood pile and looks dead at me.

He says " You cant do this while your gone. I wont be there to take care of you. I have to be able to trust you in order to let you go. Thats something i have to do. You cant keep doing this because of Ashton. He's just a guy. "

I say " He's not just a guy to me. He's one of the most important people in my life. He's the best person ever, the person who is loving and caring. The person i wanna marry. The person i wanna have a family with. I cant do that if he's dead. "

Luke looks at me and sighs.

He says " I understand. "