Love Always Wins

14

Seb pressed a button on the steering wheel and ended the call to Doctor Christen (who had told them he'd be waiting at his practice for them) while he drove. Beside him Chloe sat with her hands gripping tightly onto the scarf that she hadn't even bothered to put around her neck with silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He knew what she was thinking; the worst case scenario, because she'd been through that once before and he was desperately trying not to think that way himself. As he kept his eyes on the road, he was aware of her hands scrunching up her woollen scarf and then twisting it, almost violently as the interior of the Portofino was periodically lit up by passing cars. Chloe kept her head facing to the right, looking out into the darkness, her hands wringing the scarf to the point it burnt her skin, her fear mounting with every minute that passed. The more she was thinking about it, the more distressed she was getting. The smell of Seb's sweat filled the car, showering after training with Heikki had not even been on his radar, they'd left the house just a few minutes after she'd told him that she was bleeding, he hadn't even got changed. She turned her to head to the left to take a look at him, he had both hands gripping on to the steering wheel apart from having to lift one to momentarily scratch his chin. As a car passed she could see his jaw was tensed and he was staring straight ahead, concentrating, deep in thought, miles away. She wanted him to say something, she wanted him to say that her baby was going to be ok, she wanted him to hold her hand to comfort and reassure her but she'd been so unpleasant towards him over the last day or so that she didn't blame him for keeping distant. She turned to look back the other way, not noticing that he'd glanced at her as she did so. She wished her parents were still here and her nan. Her nan would have known what to say to try and ease her fears and her mum would have come with her in the car and held her hand the whole way through this hellish ordeal, she suddenly felt very alone. A small sob escaped her and she bought the scarf up to her face to muffle her cries. After all that her baby had survived, losing it now was a cruel, devastating blow and she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to come back from it. She felt Seb's hand grab hold of hers, pulling it away from her face, and he linked their fingers together to hold it tightly. Although he didn't speak his gesture was enough to offer her a little comfort and to let her know that she wasn't as alone as she thought. He barely let go for the rest of the journey to Zurich.

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Still clutching Seb's hand, Chloe stood on shaking legs looking bleakly at the examination bed after Gabriel had walked them into his room. He was a very confident, self assured man and very calm, even though she felt like she was close to having a panic attack. He didn't seemed phased at all at why they were here, early on a Thursday evening, but his calmness did nothing to ease her crippling fear. Passing her a blanket, Gabriel took in Chloe's panic stricken, tear stained face and Seb's equally grim expression. He hoped he'd be able to give them some good news.
"Can you remove the clothing from your bottom half and get on the bed for me Chloe? I'll need to do a quick internal examination before the ultrasound." He drew a curtain around the bed, holding a section open for her to step behind it.

"Internal?" She asked, looking completely terrified. She couldn't have that! No way could she go through that, not with him! She hadn't let a stranger touch her there since.... Surely he had female nurses to do that.

"I just need to quickly check your cervix." He smiled, trying to reassure her that he didn't perform internal exams for no reason.

"Isn't there a woman here who can do that?" She looked at him and then at Seb, maybe he could intervene and insist that she saw a woman. She couldn't bare the thought of a man she didn't really know touching her so intimately.

"I'm afraid not, it's out of hours now."

"I can stay with you." Seb said softly, knowing why she was reacting the way she was. "He just wants to check, that's all. It'll be normal procedure." He added, feeling her hand shaking in his own. She shook her head, looking at him. "You need to have this done, I promise you he's not doing it to hurt you. You're perfectly safe."