The Ex| Jeon Jungkook [COMPLETED]

Photographs

                                                   *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ

I sit up against the tufted headboard, thinking.

Thinking about what I could have said or done differently. 

Had I told Jungkook a lot sooner that I wanted to give things another try, would he have still thought about leaving? 

Since Jungkook left Lake Momo, I couldn't stop my thoughts from obsessing over the possibility of ever seeing him again. 

Heartache, self-blame and most of all, that feeling of a loss so big it was almost eating up from the inside.

These emotions have overtaken me again for the first time, in a long time.

Like a crippling crux, my sadness consumes me everyday with a vengeance. 

I can't remember feeling this hollow since that day, two years ago and this second time around the pain is even worse. Because this time, I'm not just hurting for me. 

I'm hurting for the both of us.

I've been struggling not to go back to where I started, just a broken and abandoned girl.

No 

I was strong and independent. I needed to remember that!

In the two years since Jungkook left me, I'd spent every waking minute of it convincing myself that I didn't need a saviour. 

I could rely only on myself and be just fine. 

But in just a few weeks he managed to destroy all that. Having hope dangle right in front of my eyes and then get taken away again, just feels like far too much to bear.

I swing my legs carefully over the side of the bed, cradling my growing tummy. I reach for a box of tissues lying on the floor and wipe my nose off with it. Pressing both my frozen hands over blood-shot eyes, I sigh deeply. 

The conversation I overheard between Jungkook and Jimin has also left a huge gap in my reasoning.  I wanted so badly to be mad at Jungkook. But how could I if I was unable to make any sense of what they might've been talking about?

The events at Lake Momo left me feeling deeply saddened and confused. It didn't help that I couldn't seem to shake the eerie feeling of emptiness that haunted me after watching that mysterious black car speed off, from the lake. 

I begin to ponder on whether or not Jungkook was still in New York when suddenly, the phone rings.

I clear my throat, readying my best, corporate tone of voice.  I didn't bother looking at the caller ID before lifting the device to my ear and I should be at the office by now, not sleeping in.

But It's only Alyssa. 

I feel myself relax. She's called everyday, several times a day since we returned home from the trip.

"Hi Mel, how are you feeling today?" She chirps brightly over the line.

"I'm doing fine!" I croak into the receiver, trying and failing to brighten my tone a bit.