Let's Fall in Love (Short Stories)

Why? Logic? (2)

'Why' is back in my life. Apparently it is haunting me now and its not from the people asking annoying questions to me but myself.

Why the bloody hell I feel sad that he won't look at me...in some unknown way?

Why the hell all girls like him?

Why is he with one of the bimbos? Why she has her arms around his? But why he has his hands in his pockets?

Why do people ship him with the hottest girl in college? Why can't people imagine him with someone with more brain, maybe not so high on fashion girl...maybe with someone who has less friends, who reads books, a ranker and maybe with someone who he doesn't have to charm.

And why in the universe am I kind of......associating him with the idea of being with a girl like....me? But what pisses me off the most is- Why the hell am I so affected with all the trash thinking?

After weeks of thinking along the lines of the bimbo I have concluded the critical analysis of all the possible reasons he won't look at me and even during this search of logical explanation if we had made eye contact or he had tried to come close to me I have tried to deduce a rational reason to that too.

Everything has a perfect logical explanation to it. Nothing is fact less.

The conclusion is that he will never like me. To say the thought hurts is an understatement. It fucking kills me. Why? Which I have been asking myself a lot now a days, even for the slightest incident, is still unknown. That's only answer I have to look for.

I like his presence, I like his smile, I like how he looks at me, I like the way he pretends to not understand the question and irritates me to the point that I and only I will explain him the solution, I like the way he punched the guy who touched my butt, I like the way he put the water bottle on my desk and walked way like nothing happened when I was hopping like a kangaroo in order to cool my burning mouth.

I like that he dropped off his jacket on my desk when I had a stain, I like it when he rushes into the lift to stand beside me every day, I like when he waits on me and without further saying he walks me to my house. I like when he talks to me on the way, it's like he is the real him then. The first time how he silently walked me to my house late at night, never spoke a word but he was beside me all the walk.

I like it when he panics and is right beside me when I just chock on my own saliva, I like how we silently study together, with me trying hard to ignore his mischievous looks and we end up laughing for no reason, I like his laughter its contagious.

I just adore him......Right? And he just.........

What does he think of me?

____________________________________

"Back off, you bitch! He won't ever look at you." Then the bimbo is there accusing me and honestly I have no more energy left in me to fight because to fight you need reason and except for my confusing and unknown new feelings I have nothing.

So I do the one thing I may have mastered in the past few weeks that is – I run away. The universe knows I have been running away from everything for a few weeks now. I run away when he is around, I avoid being left alone with him, I change my college reaching timings as to avoid being in the same lift as him, I surprisingly leave the class during breaks, Avoid studying in library, leave for home immediately as lecture ends, avoid his eyes which are now more often glaring at me, practically run away when he approaches me for doubt solving or for any god damn reason whatsoever.

I know he is irritated with me and angry, but why? It shouldn't affect him, right?

Its all a mess now. I am in the college parking all alone and I hear footsteps behind me. Then he pulls me to face him and before I could control myself the words fall out of my traitor mouth.

"I know you will leave me soon and.......and you don't even love me...let alone be it love, you don't even like me....and...."

" Why ?" He looks irritated.

" Uh..." What does he mean by 'why'

" Why do you think I don't like u? Let alone like...why the hell do you think I can't love you? Why? Answer me. "

Yet again the word 'why' has left me speechless...but this time the reason is different. it's not because I am irritated and don't want to give my reasons...but the complete opposite. For the first time I realize that a word can also have meaning other than what it means.... Can 'why' also mean more.

Yes. My heart knows it but maybe I am still not able to voice it.

" Why....why will you like me." why the hell am I so nervous? Maybe it's his closeness and how much closer is he coming to me. There is distance between us physically but I can sense him knocking at my heart. Like he is right there and all I need to do is let him in.....or is he already in?....Or maybe it's the silence around because I can hear my heartbeat loud enough, or is it his?

Why the hell is he not saying anything? Anything will work. The silence is killing me. Placing my hand on his chest I look up and meet his eyes. Why I did this, I have no clue. Maybe the intensity of the heartbeat sound was getting me now. "Is it your heart or mine? Its...too loud" I give a nervous chuckle and do the mistake to looking up to his face.

Too close...too close.....God he is hot! God his smile is so contagious...Wait did I just....then his lips are on mine and shockingly I really like the saliva exchange. Maybe it isn't all too bad and I can surely grow accustom to it. Then he leaves my lips, unsatisfied and cups my cheek. His touch. So warm and tenderly he holds me.

"You know you are the most stupid girl I have ever met." He says with a smile and I can see the shine in his eyes mirroring mine.

"I think...I love you." Think? I love him. Now I think I have the answers. I look up to see him staring at me with amusement and a smile like the one I had seen that morning. The smile that brightens up my whole world no matter I see it the first thing in the morning or I see it at night in some dimly lit parking.

"Do you....."

Before I could say anything further his lips crash on mine and the things they do is beyond my words. Then I didn't need any answers. Like that everything was answered.

Sometimes it's okay to not have facts and logical reasons. Some feelings are the answers itself. A little searching and some 'Whys' to be asked and thought of, there you have the answers to every ' why' in the world and to those you don't have, can be looked for with a little hope and love. Now I have my hope and Love with me so I am not scared of any answers to any number of 'whys' that comes my way.

I know he is there for me and I am for him, now and forever.