MR. JEON {BTS Fanfic/Smut} ✔️

Author's Note

What's up, guys!
JJ, here!

So, I have some news that people who follow me on twitter already know. I don't have many followers on twitter so I assume most of you don't know this.

There is this ao3/twitter writer that I dm'd the other day. She is fucking amazing and I love her! Shout out to Nessie! She's a goddamn queen!

She is asexual and decided to write an asexual storyline into one of her stories, which made me really curious about it because I'm uncultured and unwise about these things. I've ALWAYS been interested in learning about sexualities. Idk why. I just love educating myself on who and what other people love or don't love.

I have always identified closest with just being straight. There have been times where I've questioned my sexuality and experimented, but I always just went back to the conclusion that I'm straight because, shit yo, ROMANCE IN REAL LIFE MAKES ME FUCKING YEET MYSELF TO SPACE.

I have ALWAYS pushed boys away when they got too close to liking me. I have always gotten extreme anxiety attacks at the idea of being in a relationship with someone. I have always envisioned myself alone and kind of living my life single and happy.

That being said, Nessie and I talked for a while through dm and she was like "some of the terms you are using make it sound like you're aromantic. You should look it up"

So I did.

For hours.

Instead of doing homework.

So, if you couldn't guess by now, I have decided to FINALLY put a label on my weird ass. I am aro!

Fuck dude.

I feel like that's a weird and scary term for some people so let me explain it to you.

In the dictionary it means:
having no interest in or desire for romantic relationships.

It's different for everyone and everyone who is aromantic has different experiences with it. But for me it just means I can read about it, write about it and think about it, but in real life situations, romance and relationships freak me the fuck out. More than a normal person. It's a stressful undelightful experience that I'm not interested in in the slightest. I HAVE had crushes and I've thought I might want to be in a relationship before, but in the end, when put in the situation, I just don't find it appealing and/or run away from it. And all of my crushes have been based upon physical appearance, confusion between best friendship and relationship, my own hormones, and just pressure from society.

A lot of aro's are also ace.

Ace is a term for someone who is asexual, like my good friend Nessie.

BUT you CAN be aro and NOT be ace.

Asexual just means you don't feel the desire to be sexually active.

So the difference between the two is HUGE.

I am NOT ace, but I AM aro. I like sex, I dislike love (I haven't actually had sex yet though...I'm sure it's a pleasant experience and I'm very eager to try it at some point in time).

...spoken like a true virgin.

ANYWAY

For me, being aro just means freedom. I am not anxious. I am free to do what I please with my life. I am not attached to a silly relationship, but I can still enjoy writing about them.

I CAN see physical attractiveness. I KNOW when someone is sexy as hell, like Jimin *insert okurrrrrt* I just don't desire to be in a relationship with them or do any relationship-y shit. It's more like...I want him to shove his cock in my mouth *insert louder okurrrrrt*

I am really excited about finally being able to label what I always thought was weird about myself. My family even noticed it and my mom even thought it was her fault for raising me wrong or something. Nope. That's just the way my mind and heart works. And I'm okay with that. And you should be too.

Lol anyway! Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

I love you all and if you have questions, feel free to ask them! DM me, comment, follow me on twitter!

~JJ