Ashes in the Dusk [CBS#4]

Chapter 11

🏇

What did I do?

I could still fucking feel his soft lips on mine as how the harshness of his words still lingered in my mind. Nakakahiya! Oh my gosh, where did I freaking get the guts to kiss him? Ayos na ang sampal! Pero ang halik? Sobra na yun!

Pinagsusuntok ko ang isang unan sa kama ko. I imagined it to be Rahma's face. Mas lalo akong nagngitngit at pinagtatadyakan pa iyon.

Ugh! I hate you!

Hindi ko makakalimutan ang trato niya sakin nung araw na yun, ngunit hindi ko rin makalimutan ang lambot ng kanyang labi, pati na ang pagpisil niya sa aking baywang. I could still hear his soft groan on my ear!

Damn it, Syntia, ininsulto ka na lahat-lahat, lumalandi ka pa rin?! Stop that strange feeling!

Rahma was an ass. He was a farmer. One day, he'd run away from his responsibilities just like what your father did. Right. I should not let this feeling of attraction flourish. He wasn't worth it.

Ilang linggo na akong nagkukulong dito sa mansyon. Tanging eskuwelahan lang ako at pagkatapos, uuwi na kaagad ako. Nagkataon pang walang masyadong homework kaya naman hindi ko maaba-abala ang sarili. Two weekends gone by and my ass had never left this threshold. I was so, so bored.

Kung hindi ako nag-s-swimming, nasa kuwarto lang ako o nasa kusina. Pinupurga na ako kaiinom ng fresh milk doon. Hindi rin naman ako makagala dahil mag-isa lang ako. I didn't want Frediriko to accompany me, too because he was as boring as hell!

Hapon na naman at wala man lang akong magawa sa araw na 'to kundi magpatuyo ng laway at magpapanis ng katawan sa kama. I threw the towel on the rack and proceeded to my walk-in closet. I fumbled for a red, cotton shorts and a black spaghetti-strapped sando. Nagsusuklay ako ng buhok nang katukin ako ng kasambahay.

"Miss Syntia? May bagong pitas na lansones po sina Señor. Pinapatawag ka at baka gusto mo raw kumuha." Dinig ko ang boses nito kahit na nakasara ang pinto.

Ano namang gagawin ko sa mga lansones na yun? I was young when I last tasted that. Yung hilaw pa ang natikman ko kaya naman tanda ko pa ang pag-asim ng mukha ko nun. From then on, I never did try eating that again.

"Okay." malamig kong sagot dahil nababagot din naman ako ngayon dito sa kuwarto.

Matapos magpahid ng lotion sa aking braso, hita, at binti, hinagilap ko na ang aking flip-flops. Sinuklay ko lang ang kulot kong buhok. Each red tendril was still intact now that it was still wet, later on, it would then become frizzy. I decided to clear out my room after doing my after-bath rituals.

"Nasaan si Daddy?" masungit kong tanong sa isang kasambahay na nakasalubong, aatras pa nga yata kung hindi ko lang kinausap.

"Uh... n-nasa may pastulan na po ng mga kambing, Miss Syntia. Pinapasunod na lang daw po kayo."

Tuluyan na akong bumaba nang hindi nagpapasalamat. I didn't care if I sounded rude or what. Hindi katulad kay Frediriko na umuusig ang konsensya ko kapag sinusungitan ko siya. Maybe it was because my driver was genuine. Hindi katulad sa mga kasambahay na halatang pinag-uusapan ako kapag wala ako.

Pagkalabas, sumalubong kaagad sakin ang hardinero at ang iilang tauhan. Wala akong nginitian sa kanila. I went straight to our familiar truck and opened the door for myself. Frediriko instantly followed me. He already understood that when I hop into the car, then it meant that we'd be off to somewhere else.

I tore the gum's wrapper open and tossed it out the window. Isinuot ko ang sunglasses habang nakahiga sa backseat. This was the first time that I went to the main part of the farm with only these clothes on. I normally wore cowgirl outfits and boots. Ngunit ngayon, tanging flip-flops lang at pambahay na damit ang isinuot ko.