Ashes in the Dusk [CBS#4]

Chapter 1

Vɪʀɢɪɴɪᴀ Iɴɴᴏᴄᴇɴᴄɪᴀ Zᴀʟᴀᴍᴇᴅᴀ
🏇

The sun was so harsh that even umbrellas offered little protection from sunburn. Luckily, I didn't have to walk for miles. From the first light of dawn, our driver, Davito, would often take me to school and pick me up after classes.  Whenever I needed to go shopping at the malls, Davito was just a phone call away.

He had been working for our family ever since I was born. Pagkamulat ko sa mundo, nariyan na 'yan. My parents never thought about replacing nor terminating him as Davito had already gained their solid trust from his years of loyal service.

Katatapos lang ng aming exam, dumiretso kaagad ako sa ospital matapos matanggap ang tawag na isinugod na naman si Mommy. I looked pale and very worried. This was never new to me anymore. I was in grade eight when we learned that Mommy was suffering from leukemia in a severe stage.

Honestly, the fret in me got worsened each day, as her condition grew more and more complicated. Simula nang isugod namin siya sa ospital, hindi na bumuti pa ang pakiramdam ni Mommy.

Sometimes, I'd hear her crying alone in her room, probably because of the sharp pain from her bruises. Every time I heard it, my heart would ache. When she was with me, she'd put on a brave smile, trying to convince me she was okay. We both pretended everything was fine, so we wouldn't have to worry about each other so much.

But I knew better... alam ko. Dahil pakiramdam ko tumatagos sa akin ang bawat hapdi at sakit na nararamdaman niya.

If only I could suffer instead of her... she didn't deserve to suffer from that awful disease!

I missed the healthy glow of her cheeks, the bright spark in her eyes, and the natural pink hue of her lips. They had all faded to a pale shade with each passing month.

"You may lose significant things in your life, but do not seize yourself from seeking reasons to be happy, Syntia. Malulungkot ako kapag makita kang nawawalan ng pag-asa." nagawa pang sabihin ni Mommy, kahit halatang nanghihina na ito.

She had been sitting on her wheelchair for years now, I definitely knew how much she missed roaming around the garden on her feet and beautifying her flowers. Her plants were very fond of her and it was as if they really knew who was in-charged for taking care of them in the meantime as they still withered one by one, though the gardener had diligently checked them out everyday.

A dextrose and an oxygen always tagged along with her wherever she'd go. Kaya minsan, hindi ko talaga gustong iwan siya rito nang mag-isa, kahit na mapapagkatiwalaan naman si Xyril, ang kanyang personal nurse. Gusto kong ako na mismo ang mag-alaga sa kanya.

Sure, every one could take care of you, yet... none could really take good care of you.

Kung puwedi lang na tigilan ko muna ang pag-aaral para mas maalagaan si Mommy ay ginawa ko na. Kaso, alam kong hindi matutuwa iyon.

"Stop saying that, Mommy, it's like you're saying goodbye to me. I don't like it." I tried hard making it sound like a joke, though my throat had slowly become arid.

She smiled at me and held my hand. Binalot ng masakit na init ang puso ko nang dalhin ni Mommy ang kamay ko sa kanyang labi. Hindi ko na makayanan ang luha, naninikip ang dibdib ko at mahirap huminga. Napaluhod ako sa kanyang harapan at isinubsob ang mukha sa kanyang tiyan.

I tried reprimanding my shoulders from shaking real bad. Minabuti ko ring hindi paalpasin ang mumunting hikbi. I hated Daddy for choosing his damn farm rather than joining me and Mommy in this fight!