Ashes in the Dusk [CBS#4]

Chapter 33

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"I'm so glad to see you again, Innocencia!" Mrs. Espiña opened her arms for me and caged me into a warm, loving embrace.

It was as if my late mother was the one comforting me for all the pains I went through, so I rested my chin on her shoulder and hugged her back so tight. Maybe she got the hint that I needed this, so we stayed like this for some minutes.

"I'm beyond happy to see you again, Mrs. Espiña." My tears bordered the sides of my eyes, I was genuinely happy.

I shifted my eyes to the blonde girl behind her who was watching us. She's slim and really beautiful. She has fully embraced the lifestyle and passion of the country she now calls home. Nilingon siya ni Mrs. Espiña at iginiya sa akin.

"This is Alejandra, my daughter, Innocencia. She's been too excited to finally meet you."

Kaagad akong niyakap nang mahigpit ni Alejandra. "I'm so pleased to finally meet you, Innocencia. I've heard so much about you!" she said, emphasizing the words 'so much'.

"It's the same with me, Alejandra. Masaya rin akong nagkakilala na rin tayo sa wakas." Nakangiti kong saad.

She held my hand and squeezed it. "Hindi lingid sa akin ang nangyari sa'yo. I'm so proud that you're able to recover. It was a nightmare for us two."

Ngumiti ako at niyakap din siya nang mahigpit dahil alam kong higit pa sa karanasan ko ang nangyari sa kanya. It was too terrible she needed to go into the rehabilitation center. Sagorio really consumed every piece of her. I was just lucky because something was left in me, though it was still traumatizing.

I just met her in person for the first time but it felt like we had a deep connection already. Para bang matagal na kaming magkakilala at magkaibigan. Maybe it was because the love of Mrs. Espiña for the both of us was something that tied us.

We had our lunch altogether and there was a fun conversation. Katulad ng mga ginagawa ni Alejandra rito noong bata pa siya. Kaya pala hindi pa man kami nagkakakilala nang lubos, parang kumportable na ako sa kanya. It was because we were almost the same in terms of personality. She was rebellious then, but after what happened, she felt grateful because her life had been fixed.

"I really thought there'd be no hope for me... Mabuti't hindi sumuko sa akin si Mommy." aniya at niyakap si Mrs. Espiña.

It was heartwarming to see them this way. If only my mother were alive...

We seized the remaining hours of the day. Naligo kami sa dagat, may mga dala rin kaming pagkain. I got renewed, yes, but I wasn't sure if I was able to retrieve my life.

Although there is happiness deep within me, I still couldn't erase the sadness in my heart. I don't know. There's just a space that could never be filled in. Parang kahit na ano'ng gawin ko, hindi na talaga ito mapupunan.

Bukas ay naka-schedule kami na mag-travel para raw hindi naman kami ma-confine masyado sa islang ito. I realized it's been a long time since I travelled, so I immediately said yes. I badly needed this for me to find meaning to my life. What if I see something interesting, right? Paano kung may mga bagay na dapat ay para sakin pero nalalampasan lang dahil hindi naman ako lumalabas-labas?

I slept so good at night after preparing all of my things. I was excited to go to places I have never visited yet. Nakapag-travel naman ako nung bata pa ako, pero nakalimot na rin ako sa itsura ng mga lugar na napuntahan ko na. At siguradong marami na ring nagbago sa mga yun. When I reached junior high school, my father started living on his own in Sugriva. Doon na nagsimula ang problema sa aming pamilya. Mommy was so sick that it was meaningless for me to go to wonderful places when I knew to myself that at home, we'd go back to the painful reality again.