Ashes in the Dusk [CBS#4]

Chapter 25

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I hugged my knees as I watched the group of white birds above the sky heading North altogether. Twin knolls' reddish and brownish colors were highlighted by the rising sun. The summer days felt even more scorcher every time Mrs. Espiña flipped over each page of the large calendar in the living room. A warm wind rustled the leaves of the palm trees before my eyes.

The dark rocks on the seashore shined bright like stars fallen from the lonely night sky. The glow of daybreak never led me back to my way home for the whole six months. I felt like an astray, searching for my peaceful haven.

My tears already reached the sea. The memories kept coming back like waves on the seaside and it never did stop hurting me. I didn't want to avoid them though, as they kept me alive, too.

The hardwood of the porch creaked at each step of Mrs. Espiña's heavy boots. Gayunman, hindi ako natinag mula sa pagkakaupo sa kawayang hagdanan habang nakatanaw sa kawalan. Hinihihip ng hangin ang aking lampas-balikat nang buhok habang tinatanaw ang guhit-tagpuan ng langit at karagatan.

"Hija, patay na si Sagorio." iyon ang untag ni Mrs. Espiña sa akin.

Doon lang lubos na napukaw ang atensyon ko. I couldn't believe it. He was already dead and the satisfying friction of happiness suddenly hummed my insides. Hindi ako makaramdam ng kamalian sa pagiging masaya ko sa balitang nawala na ang lalaking ilang beses akong pinagtangkaan nang masama.

"Natagpuan syang tadtad ng saksak sa kanyang condo unit. Dead on arrival. Hindi mo na kailangang magtago pa."

"I want to see a picture of his dead body, if you don't mind." malamig kong sagot na agad nya namang sinunod.

Tumabi sya sa akin at inilahad ang kanyang iPad. May mga pictures sa kanyang messenger account, kung saan kritikal ang lagay ni Sagorio sa emergency room. The last picture was a photo of him, lying in a casket, looking so pale... and lifeless.

Bumuhos ang luha ko sa tuwa na hindi ko rin napigilang matawa. Lalo na nang naalala ang tagpo namin noong gabing nilisan namin ang probinsya.

Nakatulog ako sa biyahe at hindi ko namalayang malayo na pala kami sa probinsya ng Sugriva. I could still remember how I felt when I opened my eyes and found my body laying on the soft bed of a cold and large room. Nasilayan kong nakaupo si Mr. Sagorio sa isang eleganteng armchair, hawak ang basong may lamang alak at puno ng malisya ang titig sa akin.

Napaatras ako, nakaramdam ng labis na kaba dahil ito ang unang beses na tinitigan nya ako sa maruming paraan. The squinting coldness from the AC crawled into my body that the sheen hairs of my body trembled a bit. Sa paggapang ng lamig sa aking tiyan, doon ko lamang napansing nakalihis na ang aking damit at nakarolyo pataas sa aking dibdib. Disgust and apprehension left a stain on my brain. Mabilis ko iyong inayos gamit ang nanginginig na mga daliri.

"S-Sir..." what did he do to me? Did he fuckin' do anything worldly to my body while I laid on the mattress unconscious?

Gustong rumagasa ng matinding emosyon sa kalooban ko. Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili. I suspired in relief when I didn't feel the soreness down there. Gayunman, hindi pa rin ako mapanatag na baka hinipu-hipuan na nya ako habang tulog ako!

"You're finally awake." Hindi ko na makilala ang boses nyang tonog malisyoso at nababalot ng kasamaan.

His eyes were dark and bloodshot. His hair was devastatingly messy. I never saw his jaw clenched this hard a vein had pulsated on it.

Dahan-dahan akong umupo, binabaha ng kaba ang aking dibdib. Nagbalik sa alaala ko ang pag-amin ni Sagorio na wala syang kaibigang nagmamay-ari ng boutique. He dodged me! Pinaniwala nya ako! Pero bakit? Wala naman akong natatandaang ginawan ko sya ng masama!