Ashes in the Dusk [CBS#4]

Chapter 6

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Frustration, madness, shame, and desperation--these four conspired all at once. I could feel the angry thumps inside my chest as well as the gnashing of my teeth.

I glared at Rajah who was talking to my father, he deliberately ignored all my sharp gazes on him. Halos masira na ang inuupuan kong rocking chair sa kagagalaw n'un habang maingay kong nginunguya ang bubble gum. Simula pagpasok niya kanina, hindi ko siya nilubayan ng nanlilisik na mga tingin.

Nakahalukipkip ako, suot muli ang aking heart-shaped sunglasses. Buka ang aking mga paa sa sahig, dinidiinan pa ang pagtulak-atras ng rocking chair. Nagugustuhan ko ang langitngit nito dahil napapalingon sa akin sina Daddy, mukhang naiirita na sa tunog na likha ng upuang 'to.

Nakatakda kaming tumulak ni Daddy sa bayang malapit lang dito sa Sugriva para mamili ng school supplies. I did not feel any excitement at all, so I really took so much time readying myself for the said errand.

The sea of frustration was still filling up my veins. Ang kapal ng mukha niyang supalpalin lang ako nang ganun kahapon! Iniyakan ko iyon kagabi dahil sa sobrang iritasyon. I just couldn't accept the fact that I was bounded to suffer from this unjust and painful exaltation. It was like a span of torture crawling on every fiber of my body.

Puwes, kung hindi ko siya madadaan sa mabuting pakiusap, itutulak ko siya sa apoy ng iritasyon. If this mighty Rajah could no longer stood with my attitude, for sure, he'd finally convince Daddy to send me off to Manila!

Acting like a good girl was useless for this ruthless foreman. Then, maybe a rebellious, cruel girl could rather push your buttons so easily?

"Syntia, sit properly... and stop creating those creaking sounds!" seryusong saway sa akin ni Daddy saka nilingon ulit si Rajah na nakatitig na rin sa akin.

Maintaining an impassive face, I tilted my head a bit and crossed my legs. Binagalan ko ang galaw sa rocking chair. Ewan ko kung bakit dumaan siya rito sa mansyon nang ganito kaaga.

He was in his usual shirt, jeans, and walking boots. Both of them carried a neat Stetson. Sa kalagitnaan nga lang ng pag-uusap, tumunog ang cellphone ni Daddy.

"Hijo, sasagutin ko lang." paalam ni Daddy at lumabas na ng study room.

Tahimik na umupo si Rajah sa isang one-seater couch at kinuha ang kanyang cellphone sa bulsa. His Stetson was pushed back against his flat stomach. The massive figure of his body did not seem to fit-in on the seat. Isinandal ko ang ulo sa rocking chair at iningayan ang galaw n'un, nakita kong lumihis ang mata niya sa akin kasabay ng pagtigas ng panga.

I only wore a plaid vintage-looking dress with white collars and short puffed sleeves. The uneven tip of the fabric reached my knees. Dinilaan ko ang ibabang labi at ngumisi nang nakakaloko kay Rajah. Mas dumilim yata ang mukha nito at bulgar na akong sinupladuhan. Mukhang mas ganado nang ituon ang mata sa kanyang cellphone, ikinunot pa ang noo na parang may mahirap na binabasa roon.

"I don't feel so excited on my first day..." tamad kong sinabi habang nakahalukipkip.

Sinipat niya lang ako, hindi sumagot.

"I don't think that I'd be able to make friends, too... I'd die out of boredom." utas ko sa mababang boses.

"Then learn to get along with your classmates and make peers." he replied coldly, still not looking at me.

Bumuga ako ng hangin at diniinan ang galaw, bahagya kong ibinaba ang sunglasses.

"I feel terribly sad, Rajah. Sugriva is far different from Manila."