Melodies (Analogical)

Chapter 23: Do I....Feel?

Logan's POV

TW: Self-Harm mention

I walked back to my room in slight comfort. Virgil's jacket is quite comforting. Quite relaxing. I was happy and calm.

Then I remembered the cold blade in my hand.

What did I want it back for? To make reminders on my skin of all the times I've hated myself?

I honestly wasn't sure.

I put the blade in the jacket pocket and buried my hands in the sleeves. It was very kind of Virgil to let me borrow his jacket.. How can I.. return the favor? How can I thank him?

Timeskip to when Logan is back in room because plot is an illusion--------

I laid down on my bed and took the blade out of the pocket. I studied it. Had I really used this blade on myself before?

Yes, I have.

But I did it because I hated myself.

I felt an emotion toward myself.

What?....

I need to think about that later, because now, I wanted to know why Virgil was so ready to offer me his jacket, when he had seemed to want to avoid me all day.

Is it possible that he.. cares about me?

No chance, Logan. No one cares about you.

Well, let's examine the facts.

He sang to me when I was.. dying, I guess.

That was just to return the favor of when you sang to him.

He gave me his jacket just now.

Only because he saw you were cold! It's logical.

Right.....logical...

I squeezed the blade. Why am I contemplating emotions? I don't have those! How can I ever understand them!?

I stood up abruptly and took off Virgil's jacket. I held it in my hands and studied the stitching with my fingers.

I readied my knife.

DUN, DUN, DUN!

I know, a bunch of you are probably thinking, "No, Logan!" But I'll give you a little hint for the next chapter: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!! I PROMISE!