Inner Thoughts

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Your POV:

It was around 11:00pm.

I tried to close my eyes and sleep but I couldn't stop my mind from running.

It was like a hamster on a wheel.

I was covered in sweat and I couldn't stop thinking of Chan. I really shouldn't have seen him like that.

I should have never walked into the bathroom.

And Seungmin in a towel.

I don't want to be enclosed to seeing this stuff every single day.

Morning and at night.

What if I see someone else... naked..?

I really don't want that.

And what about Changbin?

Is he really doing drugs?

I flipped my pillow and dug on the inside of the pillow case.

I pulled out the small plastic bag.

I sniffed it.

Is this what drugs are supposed to smell like?

Because I don't smell anything.

I don't understand how they can get search dogs to look for this stuff if I can't smell anything.

Well, dogs do have a keener sense of smell.

But I more of angry at the fact that Changbin isn't as pure as I thought he was.

None of these people are.

I'm seeing them in ways that no one else sees them.

It's weird.

They're completely different then how I imagined them.

This aegyo and stuff is definitely not their lives. 

The froze when I heard the door open.

I couldn't make out the figures but I needed to get rid of this "meth" or "weed" i don't really know what it is.

I turn on my bed so it looks like I'm tossing in my sleep and bring my hand to the floor.

I feel a pair of shoes.

I put the baggie in the hole on the shoes.

The two figures come to my bed side.

"Can we talk to you outside?" One of them whispers.

"No. I'm tired."

"No seriously, Felix this is important." I heard one of them say.

"Ugh. Just take me as your prisoner or whatever." I sit up and hold my wrists out.

One of them takes my hand and I yank them off of me.

"D-Don't touch me." I said under my breath but loud enough for them to hear me.

We walk outside in the hallway.

It's Chan and Woojin.

"We heard from Hyunjin..." Woojin started.

"What what did you hear????" I yelled.

"Shhh." Chan put his finger to my mouth.

"I said DON'T TOUCH ME." I couldn't even look at Chan.

"Felix, why are you acting like this?" Woojin asked.

"Please leave me alone. I'm tired and I need to go to bed." 

"We're all tired but we need to ask you this." Chan said.

I closed my eyes.

"I can't stop talking to me. Leave me alone. This is assault."

"Do you really think that you're a girl?" Woojin said.

I opened my eyes and scanned both of their faces.

"I don't think I'm a girl. I know I'm a girl." I told them.

Chan held his forehead and face away from us and Woojin let out a deep sigh.

"Felix, you're not. You're a boy." Woojin said.

"That's what you see but I'm not."

Chan looked at Woojin and realized.

"How about we take you to the doctor?" Woojin suggested.

"Do whatever you want. My opinion obviously doesn't matter to you so..." I stormed back into the room.

"Woojin, I think Felix... wants to be transgender."

"What makes you think that?" Woojin squinted.

"He's a guy who thinks he's a girl."




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