My Joy (Bucky Barnes's Daughter)

After the Tears

After their tears had finally subsided Bucky laid Joy on the bed. Looking at her tired features he kissed her forehead as he pulled a blanket over her small frame. He whispered that he would be back as he shut the door and left the room.

Bucky walked in the kitchen where Autumn was putting away left overs. She spun around when she heard him approach. 

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously "I'm so sorry  for..." 

Autumn cut him off. "No, please don't apologize." She said softly.

Autumn saw his tear stained cheeks, she knew little Joy had been crying. She could hear her from the kitchen, but seeing Bucky look like he had bawled his eyes out as well, surprised her.

"Are you ok?" she said 

Bucky swallowed hard and nodded  "yeah ."  he said  in a not so convicting tone. 

Autumn walked into the living room, Buck followed unsure if this mishap would change their nightly TV time.

She relaxed into her usual spot on the couch and looked up at him with her baby blue eyes. Bucky's anxiety was starting to creep up making him want to retreat to his room and forget about watching tv.  

"Come on, Buck everything is fine." She smiled.

He took a deep breath then sat down on the couch leaving a huge gap between them. It was not like they ever cuddled on the couch or ever got to close, but this time it was like he was trying to keep himself away from her. leaning into the arm hard like he wished the couch was longer so he did not have to be so close.

Autumn sat for a second and then muted the news with the remote. She re positioned  herself on the couch, crossing her legs under herself and facing the man "Bucky, Joy is just a little girl she just got confused, there is no reason for us to stop acting normal around each other."

Buck gave her a small smile that did not reach his eyes. "Your right." he said

 Autumn changed the channel to a movie, the man on the screen was wearing clothing from the 40's and immediately Buck was intrigued. The movie was set around 1940 and it felt like home to Bucky.

Autumn was about to change the channel when he spoke up. "Can we actually watch this?" he asked . 

"You want to watch The Notebook?" she said is shock.

"Yea I have never seen it."  Buck said his eyes not leaving the screen.

Autumn smiled as she set the remote down on the side table  and got comfy to watch the movie.

They were at the beginning of the move where Ally and Noah meet at the caravel. 

Bucky watched the screen intently, it was like he was watching small pieces from his past playing out in front of him.

 Odd memories would pop into his mind as the movie played on, things about his parents, Steve being sick, even the girls he used to be smitten by. They all dancing through his thoughts. 

Finally the movie ended. Autumn was curled into a ball on her side of the couch fast asleep. Buck smiled at her peaceful face. 

Man, she was stunning. Unlike the women he chased in the 40's she was beautiful inside and out. Her kindness and sweet spirit  made her everything he would want for himself and Joy. She would be a great mother. 

He shook his head trying to get back to reality. She was not his girlfriend, she was his house mate. 

Bucky saw Autumn start to shiver and curl into herself more. He garbed a through blanket  of a chair and draped it over her. Letting out a content sigh she snuggled into to blanket.

Bucky went back to bed, slipping into the covers he closed his eye and fell asleep  to the thoughts of Autumn and the life they would never have together.