LUNA CATHERINE 2 - THE REWRITTEN.(ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

Pain and agony, I've had a taste of it for most of my life.

But not like this, not like this where I feel emptiness wanting to consume me whole or my heart aching, as I wake up and when I go back to sleep at night.

Nothing makes sense right now and my senses have found refuge, in my mixed emotions and thoughts.

I have not spoken much lately. Well 3 weeks to be exact.

Someone took a piece of my heart away from me, my daughter Ulana....My little butterfly.

How is one supposed to really feel at a time like this?

I find it hard to express through words, and silence has been my greatest companion of late. Mica is there, he's always been yet it feels like we are in two different paths, both in thoughts and direction of focus.

One goal remains, however, that we need to get our daughter back, at any cost.

We both have not remained the same after she was gone. I've gone silent and he, he's grown cold. It hurts me to see him hurt and punish himself like this, such guilt and judgement he hangs over his head, it's draining him emotionally, little by little.

I've lost my baby and I'm afraid, sooner, rather than later, I might lose my mate too.

Everything feels too hard to bear, too heavy to carry, and too long to withstand. I'm exhausted from the taunting cries of help from my baby, that I've awakened to, in the middle of the night. I'm barely in my right senses yet I'm still holding on.

I've witnessed mothers losing their babies but the feeling, I never touched it. Now to have the bitter taste of it, the effects have made my world seem so grey, so dull at most.

Niana has also grown silent on me and what troubles me most, are her last words to me. They were words of warning, to protect Ulana, but I could not fully comprehend the heaviness of the words, once I realized what would happen.

Guilt weighs heavily on me.

I should have heard and understood her but I didn't. Now my baby is gone. She is gone.

A sigh takes over my lips as my eyes look around my baby's room. The perfect place for her, meant for her.

She should be here. My baby should be here.

My body grows weak at the sound of those words.

My feet feel heavy, but I pull through my steps towards my rocking chair. I have been trying to hold it in together, to not break, but I feel my shield cracking and my throat tightening. I cover my face with both my hands, trying to take calming breaths but it seems difficult. The longer I try, the more the hidden cry bubbles within my body.

I can just imagine my baby whimpering in the silence, at the lost familiar contact of her mother, to not feel my warmth and my love, the empty feeling has cruelly trampled into my space. We had so little time together, when she came into this world, and only a few had a glimpse of her pure presence.

My baby is gone and nothing seems to make it any better. The confirmation of the days that she has been missing, is a painful reminder of being left incomplete. I want to scream out loud and bear out my pain, but once again, I hold myself back, not wanting to lose it now.

My chest heaves up and down as I desperately try to calm my breathing, air coming in short and limited.

' Don't panic now. Dont panic now.' I continuously speak into mind.

Time passes and then like a dam had broken, a silent cry slips out and tears follow. I feel cold and empty, I need my baby. I need to hold her once again.