Sanders Sides Oneshots

Viva La Pluto

I don't even know what to say on this one. No ship? Platonic analogical? Platonic prinxiety? Up for debate logicality? The world may never know.

Everyone around the mind palace knew Logan to hold strongly to facts. He would always find a way to insert one into conversation, and asking him a question normally resulted in a long line of dates and names no one really cared about. So, people mainly stayed clear of these sorts of things.

Unless they were Virgil.

Logan was in the common area, having just finished breakfast and now moving onto his latest novel. He very rarely could be distracted while in this state, but something that morning drew his eye.

Virgil had just come from the hallway, and seemed to have changed in appearance. Logan examined him closely for a second, trying to find what was different.

After a moment, the difference became clear to him. Instead of his normal purple shirt, Virgil was sporting a graphic tee with a single sentence on it. "Viva la Pluto fuck you."

"Uh, Virgil?" Logan spoke up, drawing the attention of the emo. "What is your shirt insinuating?"

Virgil looked down, seemingly taking in his outfit for the first time. "Oh," He said, unphased. "Pluto's still a planet, man."

"Well, yes, a dwarf planet. It hasn't been a real planet since 2006."

"Nope. The solar system still has nine planets. They already said it was one, that's not the kinda thing you can just take back."

By this point they had drawn the attention of both Patton and Roman. Roman looked amused, while Patton seemed wary of incoming conflict.

"Well, if they chose to continue to classify Pluto as a planet, they would have to do the same with Eris, Ceres, Haumea, Makemake, and about a dozen others. It just wouldn't make sense. Adding on..."

And so they continued, Logan offering facts and logic to prove his point, with Virgil contributing the equivalent of tumblr logic for his side of the argument. Roman, growing bored of the back and forth, eventually decided to oil his sword, using the conversation as background noise for the task. Patton walked away to clean up the mess from breakfast, leaving the two once he realized it to simply be a harmless debate. These had become common between the two after the Negative Thinking video, and very rarely evolved into actual problems.

After a winded debate, Logan was stewing quietly and Virgil stood smirking at the other's growing anger. A dusty chalkboard stood behind the former, having been wiped and rewritten on several times during the past hour.

"Okay, Anxiety, look. Closing statements. Irrefutable evidence shows that Pluto is no longer a planet, not based on the rules and standards set today globally. That's something no shirt can disprove."

Virgil simply looked at the other, staying silent for a good 30 seconds before finally opening his mouth. With his voice monotone, he gave a simple answer. "Viva la Pluto fuck you."

Roman let out a hearty chuckle as Patton walked over to Logan, leading the disputant away and back to his room. "I know Lo, just let it go. You think you'd be used to this by now, practically all your debates end this way."

"But Morality, we are talking about an entire dwarf planet here, he has no argument, not a substantial one anyway."

"Let it go nerd! He one fair and square!" Roman shouted down the hallway, adding his sword back to its sheath. This was answered by a resounding "FALSEHOOD" from down the corridor, leading to laughter from both traits still in the living room.

"Nice Princey."

A quick fist bump was exchanged before Patton re-emerged, his fatherly disapproving look present.

"Come on, both of you. You knew that would rile him up, and really Virgil, were you trying to upset him?"

"Maybe," he responded casually, moving to grab a soda from the fridge.

"Why?"

"Been a while since the nerd's been riled up. Besides, can't say it wasn't fun."

Patton sighed, going to massage his forehead. Roman laughed one more time, miming a tip of his hat to the emo before exiting, allowing the house to settle back to everyday madness.

Sorry this is short, but should be Wednesday uploads consistently from now on. And, a big announcement should be up by the end of the month, so yeah. Till next week, my lovelies!

~Dna