Sanders Sides Oneshots

Inktober Day 3- Courtroom

Why I had decided to come back, I didn't know. Maybe I just felt the need to remind myself of what I had just seemingly spent forever screaming. That he was evil, that he was manipulative, that he was against us all.

The courtroom. Where this whole issue had started.

I stood at the prosecutors desk, where he had sat. The images couldn't leave my mind. Seeing him there, flattering me as I fell for every line. "It's your honor. Ignore the one angry man. You know I love you."

How much of it had been a lie?

Today certainly hadn't helped. I couldn't make heads or tails out of any of it. It seemed no matter what side I was on, I still stood against everyone else. And somehow, it always ended up being the wrong decision. Is it even possible for someone to make the wrong choice at every turn?

"Apparently," I spoke aloud. I never was good at keeping my thoughts in my head.

I walked slowly around the courtroom, making a stop at the place where Patton had been, right next to Thomas.

"It didn't take me that long to fail both of you, did it? Hell, I probably managed to before we even left this room. The wedding wasn't the right choice, was it? Why was I so certain at the time?"

I sighed, picking up a forgotten Butterfinger still lying on the floor. "I'm sorry Padre, I was just trying to follow your lead. But it turns out you don't even know, right? In fact, I was just causing you pain. Assuming you held all the answers, forcing you to think you needed to."

I couldn't bring myself to look over it where Thomas had been. Instead, I just made my way up to the judge's chair. Let's face it, it's where I had made that horrible decision, and basically caused us all to suffer. Well, except for Janus, as we now know him. He's benefited from this whole thing, maybe the only one who has.

I sat down again, looking out at the courtroom as if it were that day. It was from right here where I made the decision. Thomas, guiltily waiting for his sentence. Logan tucked away in the back, maybe things would have been better if I listened to him more. But all I could think about was that snake. I was so... blindsided, so overwhelmed. It was the first time a decision had truly been left up to me, and I couldn't have screwed it up any worse. I mean, look at what had come from it. And it's not like I was doing any better. Within the past few hours, I had insulted Janus, ignored Logan once again, not helped Thomas in any way, and made things worse for Patton.

"For the first time Virgil, I'm starting to see what your reasoning had been behind ducking out." I let out a dull chuckle, but there wasn't really any emotion behind it. After all, when all you seem to do is screw up, would the others not be better without you?

"I can't though, can I?" I looked up, the plain white ceiling being calming after so much happening in my head. "I can't duck out. They all 'care' too much about me. And besides, it would just be a call for attention, wouldn't it? The brave Prince Roman needing to be saved and reminded of how much everyone loves him." I couldn't help but chuckle. When we came to the conclusion that Thomas was selfish, I never realized he got it from me.

But it makes sense, doesn't it? His hopes, his dreams, his aspirations. I want him to get as far in life as he possibly can, and that means acting in his own interests. So why does that feel wrong?

"I know it's wrong, we can't always put ourselves first, I know that. But today..." I sighed, the whole issue was so complicated. We had to find a balance between the two, didn't we? Between helping others and helping ourselves. Yet it seemed I always chose wrong. Things we should do for ourselves we never did, and I felt bad. Things we should do for others was always when I got selfish, and then felt bad for being that way.

"I really can be the evil twin, can't I?"

I couldn't help it when the thought came, Deceit really had been right there. I was rude, selfish, insulting, everything a Prince shouldn't be. At least Remus didn't hide behind a facade, pretending to be better than he was. He just, was.

Slowly, I lifted myself from the chair. It's not like I deserved the position anyway. And knowing Patton, he'd probably want to check on me as soon as he could. Finding me here might set off some warning bells I'm not ready to have ringing yet. Which also meant I needed a minute to pull myself together. I may be a master actor, but it takes a second to get into character.

With those things in mind, I started making my way back to the main area of the mind palace. I could probably pick up my room a bit while waiting for Pat, I can't say it doesn't need it.

I allowed myself one last look back, fully taking in the room where it had all gone down. Where things had probably changed for all of us, and were never going back. And now, it's where my eyes had once again been opened to my own faults, another reminder I needed to write down in a list of many.

"You're going to do better, Roman. You have to do better. For Thomas, and all of them. You're... their hero."

I left the courtroom behind, hopefully for the last time.

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Hey, so this is finally out. Sorry about the wait, hope I didn't annoy any of you, but I'm running off the base assumption no one cares, if just to make myself feel better. 

Anyway, yeah. Same basics. Hope you enjoyed reading, sorry about it being angst. If you've got a sweet tooth for fluff, scroll on down a part, day 4 is as lighthearted as it gets. I'll be seeing you all tomorrow, and hope your morning's great. Peace!

~Dna