Chapter 38
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How can I let it go?
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Angelina
Bri doesn't say much. I have told everything. None hid. The part where I am pregnant.
How cruel can life be? Always spot on. Just when in the mayhem.
Mayhem?
Ethan was right. I wasn't in his place.
Yet, how can anything justify what he did?
But... I look up at my friend biting on her lips. Well, Bri is still retrospective and utterly in the loss of words. Maybe it's me. For the last hour, I am defending Ethan too. And I am ashamed of it. But I can't think of much right now. I look at my life in front of me and I expect it to be full of love. But the farther I try to focus, the picture blurs.
I just left him after questioning him to end up to what? Defending him.
How can I be this naive?
That man has committed a crime. What will he give to you, your baby, and your brother?
"Maybe we leave the country? Will it be different then? I mean Ethan is a different man altogether now. Maybe we will turn out good." I speak.
"You think he will accept that? and will this company, crypt international let you go?" She looks at me confused.
"I don't know. Somehow I am worried about Grace. She did turn me against him. And she gives me more chills. " I can't explain it to her. I just stop.
"I know. Well, I don't know what to say, Angie, it's really above my pay grade. " she chuckles nervously.
"I don't understand why do I crash into these. Ryan. Ethan. I even married one. " I pool at Bri's worried face.
"Seems like Ethan is right, I do have a thing to attract to these. What can I expect? " I laugh.
"No one can help me Bri unless I stand up to what is right rather than giving in to my feelings. Someone has to. "
**
I ain't sure about it. My nerve is keeping me up. Ethan beside me rendering it harder. I need to act normal as if everything was good but I know I am failing terribly. With the determination in my mind and being selfish, I am questioning my conscience too. But I have to be smart and prepared if I want to do it. I have to do it smoothly without Ethan's knowledge.
The best thing is that Ethan was angry at me. He is keeping himself on the side of the bed with his back to me. I am grateful for that.
I turn around to peek at him instinctively.
Shit.
He stares at me through the dim light. And something spark.
I swallow reminding myself of the mission I am to accomplish the next day but it doesn't help at all.
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