Mexico Headcanons

☁USMex☁

The two frenemies walked alongside one another in tense yet comfortable silence. Their relationship has been rocky but that doesn't mean the two can't get along. Mexico hung his gray blazer over his left shoulder checking out other people's Twitter while trying to adjust his red tie. Low grumbles were released under his breath from reading a few annoying tweets that reeked of ignorance and arrogance. Meanwhile, America stuffed his face with inauthentic Mexican food that he adores, Taco Bell. 

Mexico's brown orbs landed on America's disgusting-looking taco as he gobbled it up like if it were nothing. A wave of revulsion washed over the Southern nation. The snack itself was an insult to his culture that it doesn't even deserve the title 'Mexican food'. Not only was the taco atrocious but the way his Northern neighbor devoured the taco only made Mexico gag while America licked his lips and fingers wanting to reminisce in the 'delicious' taste of his taco. 

"Sabes y si sigues comiendo así estarás gordo. Muy pronto no te vas a quedar en tu traje." The sun-kissed male advised his neighbor with a brow arched trying to warn the blonde from making any more terrible life choices. And like usual, his words had no effect on the American as he continued to relish the taste of his Taco Bell. 

"Well joke's on you 'cause I don't know what you're saying! So suck it!" America yelled, his childish personality coming to the light as he threw away his wrapper that came with his poor choice of lunch. His large hands formed finger guns as he pointed them at the Mexican who paid no mind to his childish antics as he has grown accustomed to them. Mexico rolled his eyes and continued to scroll through a racist Twitter thread. 

"Whatever, you probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. Also America," the two turned to look at one another when the Latino addressed the powerhouse nation. The blonde's curious baby blue eyes veiled behind his glasses gazed down at Mexico waiting for him to finish his sentence. A long and intense staring contest ensued between them before Mexico broke it as a disgusted look rested on his young features. "For Hell's sake, stop bloody eating Taco Bell in front of me! It's disgusting and it is abuse to my culture." 

America didn't really respond the way Mexico had wished for but then again whatever he wishes in spite of America usually never comes true. The former British colony cackled in front of his old friend's face clutching onto his stomach trying not to roll on the floor. However, Mexico didn't find it as funny cocking an eyebrow at the blonde blue-eyed male. 

"Hahahahaha! Sometimes you're really funny Mex! Have you ever thought of becoming a comedian?" Their small banter continued for some time as embarrassing as that is to admit. Fighting over Taco Bell. Thankfully for the ravenette, he got a phone call though he would've preferred if it were someone else than his boss. At the moment he didn't feel like discussing work. 

He held a finger towards America silently telling him to shut the hell up for a moment when he answered. "Bueno...si si...ok ya calmate...wey para de hablar así...si lo siento pero calmate no te entiendo..." Tiredly, he continued to speak on the phone with his frustrated boss walking alongside a former friend who was arguing about Taco Bell. 

Bored that he wasn't getting any attention from the older nation, he looked down on his own phone searching through missed text messages from Britain, Canada, and Lithuania. In the middle of sending unrelated memes, he picked up on a loud and rowdy voice. The voice belonged to a male that sounded like he stopped smoking after 40 years of the bad habit. What he said really went under his skin.

"Hey, beaner! This is goddamn America, if you're going to be here then at least speak the native language! English, please! This ain't your land Tacohead so speak English, English only here you fucking job-stealing, good for nothing tonk!" His harsh and offensive words grabbed the attention of Mexico who continued to speak Spanish, glancing at the racist fool badmouthing him. 

America's hands balled in fists his nails digging into his skin trying to calm down his nerves. He could feel his own blood boil from the man's ignorance that radiated everywhere from him. His blue eyes glared at the man's green eyes. The racist wore a gray tank top that had a few grease stains scattered around, an American flag-styled baseball cap masking away his pale blonde hair, navy blue khaki shorts, and flip flops. A minor scar was embedded on his left cheek as he sported a horseshoe mustache. 

Clenching his fingers further into his palms he growled threateningly low. He almost felt himself draw blood. Soon, a hand was placed on his shoulder which was revealed to be Mexico himself looking at him somberly giving him the look that reads 'don't mind him'. Like hell, he'll let this man's words slide. America whipped back around to straight-up glare at the racist man taking long strides to reach the said man. 

"Hey, I couldn't help but notice that you're yelling at my buddy over there in the suit. Mind telling me why you thought it was necessary to yell at him like that?" The blonde nation asked with the 'nicest' tone he could muster under all the anger boiling his blood at that very moment. The douche wasted no time in voicing out his reasoning. 

"Free speech is guaranteed here in AMERICA. I have every right to tell him to speak English! This is America after all, an ENGLISH speaking country! A job-stealing beaner like him should speak ENGLISH if he is staying in this great country." The shite that he spat almost earned a punch to the face. However, America knows no good would come from that and he didn't want to stoop so low to punch an ignorant fool. 

America spoke through gritted teeth, "Yeah ok whatever you say. May I ask you what state we are in right now, sir?" The man cocked an eyebrow before answering California. Continuing his feigned smiled he spoke again. "Ok good to know but did you know that California belonged to the Native Americans that soon fell into Mexico's hands. Did you know that Texas, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, Utah, Wyoming, Oklahoma, Colorado, and Kansas belonged to Mexico before lost to America during the Mexican-American war between 1846-48? So really, Spanish is the native language here along with other Native American languages until the Americans stripped it away from them. So technically, he has every right to speak Spanish here not only that but free speech is a thing here, just like you said. However, ignorance is tolerated nowhere so why not pick up a book or two and fill that empty brain with actual knowledge and facts." Nothing more was said when America turned around and walked away from the completely dumbfounded fool who stood there with his jaw resting to the floor. 

Dragging Mexico away from the racist, the two sped walked away from the toxic area. Mexico himself was baffled at what the blonde spewed out. Never in a million years would he have expected America to defend him on something. His brown orbs traced up to the blonde's face that was fuming red with anger as his cowlick bobbed and scrunched itself up from frustration. 

"Stupid...giving us a bad name...racist old man..." Low grumbles oozed out of his lips as he clenched his fists once more trying to release some of his anger. Meanwhile, Mexico stared at him with baffled eyes. His eyes fluttered with surprise before they landed on the sidewalk in front of him a sincere smile resting on his lips. 

Lifting his arm up, he patted America's shoulders firmly gaining the attention of said nation. His baby blue eyes glanced curiously at the slightly older nation walking with a sweet smile residing on his lovely features. 

"Thank you for that, America." No more words were spared as he smiled knowing he was the hero for Mexico for the rest of the day. Their little quarrels subsided as they basked in their little victory. 

...

Proof that the two still care for one another and appreciate each other. We need some fluff in our lives even if this ain't fluff. Just pure.