Scp 666-0

But did you REALLY have to?

You wake up to an annoying scratching at your helmet and wake up to see a Carmel rabbit in your face. In that moment you feel all rage leave you and a flood of fond memory's rushes back. Then you hear it. The sound you never thought you would hear again. The one thing you hate more than the denizens of hell. The voice of the damn robot shit lord. Dr Samuel Hayden himself.
Tin can: Hello slayer long time no s- see.
You lightly chuckle as you see him glitch out. Dr. Hayden walks in and sees you, a VERRY angry slayer, about to turn his science project into spare parts and scrap metal. But mostly just scrap metal.
Hayden: Woah woah hold on a minute I need him functional. Then you proceed to rip off his remaining arm and stick it in your bag and walk out or your room to wander aimlessly through the hallways and corridors, until you walk into a staff break room and see a big ass drink dispenser and a keyboard on it. You decide to see if it has coffee and type in "cup of coffee" and then decide to see if you can goof off a little and type "cup of joe". At this moment a man wearing a name tag reading "Joe" rolls onto the room in a wheel chair. He is missing both legs and his left arm. He suddenly begins screaming in agony as his right arm vanished and the hole starts gushing blood. You look down at the machine to see it has dispensed a thick gooey red substance that smelled of blood.
Vega: it seems this machine takes what you tell it extreamly litterally. Slayer be cautious of this device.
You, not giving a flying fuck, then type in Samuel Hayden and a cup full of molten metal is dispensed. You begin actually laughing, and shaking the entire facility of course, and realise what you just did.
Vega: Slayer, was that entirely necessary?
You nod and walk arround on the hint for a limbless robot douchbag.