bringing lucy home

Chapter 6: Disconnected

Keira couldn't have worked up the courage to invite Lucy back to Manchester at a worse time. It took her weeks to finally get it together and attempt at making contact with Lucy after their phone call. But now she was ready, she was ready to give it one last shot with Lucy. 

Their relationship meant so much to Keira. Thinking back on all their memories, at City and with the Lionesses, she knew that Stan was right. They did have something special. She didn't want to lose it now.

When Keira had been going through hard times before, Lucy was always there for her. Lucy would give everything up for Keira. What changed? On the outside, it looked like Lucy gave Keira up this time. But Keira knew that Lucy still loved her, and that their friendship meant something to her. She wrestled with her mind over it, but she knew that their bond was so tight and close that it wasn't going to die out over a misunderstanding.

Lucy Staniforth, Steph Houghton, and Lucy's parents all backed her in trying again to connect with Lucy. It wasn't like she and Lucy hadn't gone through dark days in their relationship before. But they'd always come out of them, stronger. She knew she had to try again.

On the other side of the English channel however, Lucy was far less composed than Keira. Infact Lucy was an absolute wreck. She was depressed about the phone call with Keira, thinking that her suspicions about everyone hating her had been confirmed. She hated herself for hanging up because she had nothing to say, and now Keira, the light of her life, was afraid of her, afraid of talking to her. Keira was exactly what Lucy needed but Lucy knew she blew it.

Lucy couldn't believe no matter how hard she tried, that Keira still loved her. She forgot how strong Keira was, and Lucy's perspective was narrow. She knew she had wronged the team when she left, especially Keira, but she could not understand that the team had forgiven her.

Keira's words swirled around her head day and night. "I guess I'm glad you're at Lyon...if...if City wasn't...good enough." Lucy had heard the hurt in Keira's voice, and she felt she could never forgive herself for doing that to Keira. And when Lucy asked Keira if she still missed her, if she still wanted her back at City, Keira didn't give her the response she wanted. "This is a new chapter in your life, Luce...No one here at City wants to hold you back...Things change, Luce. I get it now...Its...better this way..." Keira's voice rang in Lucy's head non-stop.

She wanted to run away, but hadn't she already? Isn't that what she did when she left City? She wanted to cry, but that seemed to be all she ever did lately. She didn't know what to do and now she had no one to turn to. 

She wanted to run to Keira and spill her guts. She wanted to disappear forever. She was conflicted with all the things she wanted to do, and couldn't understand her own feelings.

When Georgia's message came in that morning, Lucy finally broke. G's text broke down every one of Lucy's inner hopes that her old teammates actually still loved her. It drove her mad knowing that she actually hurt Keira. It hurt her to hear someone call her out, to be called selfish, to be made guilty of breaking the heart of the only light in her life, Keira Fae Walsh. She should've expected something like this to happen sooner, but facing it all at once was too much for her.

Back in England, Keira was clueless about Lucy's feelings and had no idea that Georgia messaged her. Finally ready to try and talk again, finally ready to give it another try, finally ready to take the step and ask Lucy to come back to Manchester, if only for a visit, Keira texted Lucy.

"Hey."

"Can I call you?"

"Hey its Kei. Call me when you can."

No responses. Lucy saw Keira had messaged her but buried herself in isolation rather than look at them. She thought it was more of what Georgia had been accusing her of and she couldn't bear to hear it from Keira herself.

Meanwhile Keira, discouraged, cried herself to sleep again. Finally she decided to call Lucy, and when she didn't answer, Keira left a voicemail message.

"Uhmmm...hey. I know I've been distant lately. We both have. I don't want this, Luce. I love you, I need you. I need you here, back in Manchester. Please come back, just for a visit. I need to see you. I miss you so much it hurts me. Look, I know you're ignoring me. But I'm worried about you. You might answer this, you might not. I guess we'll have to see what happens."

Keira stopped the message and broke down in sobs. She couldn't bear it anymore. Her mind told her it was over, there was no going back to Lucy. But her heart ached and wanted to believe that one day it would be ok.