bringing lucy home

Chapter 43: fixing things

Steph found Keira sitting on a bench at the bus stop, head in her hands, sobbing. She pulled the car alongside the pavement and hurriedly got out, running to her former teammate.

"Keira!" she breathed, snatching the midfielder up in a hug.

Keira didn't fight it. She melted in Steph's arms willingly, she was cold and miserable and alone. "I'm sorry Steph," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I ran away. I...I don't know what came over me."

"I'm just glad you're ok," Steph sighed, petting Keira's head gently. "I've been looking all over bloody Manchester for you. You are ok, right?" She lifted Keira's chin in her hands.

Keira nodded, tears falling down her face despite a grateful smile she gave Steph. "Steph, you know I trust you...I just...I'm a mess, Steph."

Steph pulled Keira close her, rocking her back and forth like a child. "That's ok, Kei. We can fix this. We can do this, together."

Keira hugged Steph tightly, thankful for her support and love.

Over the next few days, Steph helped Keira get back to the routine of her life, trying to make everything seem as ok and normal as possible despite the fact that her fiancé had pretty much messed her up. Keira was strong and handled it well. The hardest thing was taking care of Milly, Keira was unused to having the baby but at least Steph was there to take care of her while she went to training.

She tried to remain focused at training but as always Lucy was in her every thought. It was hard for Keira to see their entire relationship, a relationship that she had tried so hard to repair after Lucy had first gone to Lyon, slipping through her fingers, especially since she now had Milly, and only wanted a happy life for their child. As she lay in bed at night, Keira wished she had Lucy beside her, to hold her and warm her. She missed the former right back, however much she tried to deny it. From the moment she had laid eyes on her, she had known Lucy was the one she would love forever. And she wished she could stop loving her, but that was impossible. If it wasn't Lucy herself haunting Keira, it was the remnant of Lucy in everything she loved. Driving past the pitch of the Stretford Union Blues that Lucy and girls had made themselves, walking through the City academy remembering all the times she had done so with Lucy by her side, looking into her child's eyes and wishing she could have both her parents here and now, wishing she could give Milly more than a broken relationship.

But Steph was right, she gave Lucy too many chances. She was angry at Lucy for keeping it secret from her, she was angry at Lucy for having dragged her along for 2 years without marrying her, she was angry at Lucy for leaving to Lyon not one but TWO times. She couldn't imagine how Lucy expected her to just drop her whole life to follow her around like a kid to Lyon, the very place Keira had saved her fiancé from not so long ago. She was upset a Lucy for so many things, but she still had this longing.

A longing to go back home. A longing to see if Lucy was still there, if Lucy was ok. A longing to fix this up again and go back to normal. If she was honest, her longings seemed more like the unlikely wishes of a silly little girl.

As if Lucy, wherever she was, had read Keira's thoughts, Keira's pocket buzzed with her special ringtone for Lucy. She gasped when she heard it, and froze for a moment, deep in thought and conflict. Do I answer? Do I ignore? Her first inclination was to ask Steph. No, no. This was something she had to do herself. She had to face Lucy.

"Hey." Keira's voice was cracked and high and nervous. She kicked herself for the way it came out.

"Hi." Reassuring, familiar, almost therapeutic. Keira sighed, warmed by the sound of Lucy's deep, charming, almost sweet sounding voice. She didn't know why though, it was the same voice that had been lying to her and telling her the things she didn't want to hear.

"Keira, I miss you," Lucy continued.

Keira held her breath. Something in Lucy's voice made her sad, there was a vulnerability, like Lucy had been crying for a long time. Keira had been crying too. She tucked her hair behind her ear, not knowing what to say.

"Look, Kei. I don't know if you saw my messages or heard my voicemails or got my calls. But I screwed up and I'm sorry. I've never been so sorry in my life. And I've never been so miserable. Because I cant be happy without you, Kei. I cant do it on my own, I need you. I know I'm an asshole. So, I don't know if you even care anymore, about us. I just have to let you know that I am sorry and I could keep apologizing to you till my very last breath because you're worth it, and you deserve so much better than me. And I cant leave to Lyon without you, so I've been here, at the house, waiting for you, even if its stupid. I want you to come home, Kei, and I'm not going to expect anything of you because its your move now, the ball is in your court. I failed, Kei. I don't deserve to call the shots anymore. You get to choose where this relationship goes, just know that I'll be waiting here for you the whole time."

Keira covered her mouth with her hand, trying to silence her sobbing. She couldn't hide it. She completely broke down. "I still love you Lucy!" She couldn't believe she was saying the words.

"I love you more, Kei. Even though I'm an absolute stunad, and no good at showing it. You mean everything to me. Keira, you are my whole world and...nothing...nothing feels right without you. I'm just floating in outer space without my world, I guess. Pretty stupid, huh."

"Lucy..." Keira sniffed. "Lucy, I'm gonna say something...something probably stupider. I really just want to work this out, Luce. I want to give it another chance. I want to come home." There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Luce? Lucy?"

"You...you really mean it?" Lucy asked quietly in disbelief.

"It's insane...but yeah." Keira rubbed her face, taking a deep breath. "I think we can...we can change this. We can save us. We can...try."