bringing lucy home

Chapter 36: promise

One week later...

It had been 7 days since Lucy accepted the offer her old club presented her, the offer to return to Lyon as a manager for their U21s. It had also been 7 days of internal struggle, strong mental anxiety as she hadn't told a single soul what she had committed to. She fought herself about telling Keira, not telling Keira...she didn't tell Steph, she didn't tell Stan, she didn't tell Leah, she didn't tell the girls she was now coaching. She had made one of the biggest decisions of her life and kept all her loved ones in the dark about it.

She couldn't keep doing this, she had to tell someone. It was that night, after training with the Stretford Union Blues for their big final match the next day, that she went to Stephs house desperate for help. She froze hesitantly as her fist hovered near Steph's front door, unsure if she really wanted to tell. She had to. Come on Lucy, she encouraged herself. She dropped her fist, knocking three solid times on the door.

Steph's face appeared as the door creaked open. "Lucy! Come on in." Steph stepped back to let the former defender in.

Lucy smiled nervously and walked into the house.

"Whats up?" Steph asked. "Is it about Milly? Don't worry, I only feed her healthy, nutritious food when she's here, none of that sweets and sugar. And I always put her to sleep at 15.00 for a rest, so she's well and relaxed-"

"No, Steph, its not about Milly," Lucy cut in slowly, sitting down on the sofa. "Well, it is, just not directly? I mean..." Lucy sighed, and buried her face in her hands. "Steph, help me." She looked up at Steph, tears in her eyes and an expression of anguish across her face.

Steph sat beside her, worry in her heart. "Awhh Luce. Come here." She pulled Lucy's head to her chest, rubbing her back to try and stop her shaking. "Its ok. Its ok. Whats wrong love?"

Lucy shook her head, sniffing. "I don't know if I've made a mistake or...if I've done the right thing...I think it's the right thing but...what if its not? And I don't know how to tell Kei, or the girls, or anyone and I just..."

"Lucy." Steph stopped her, putting two firm and reassuring hands on Lucys shoulders. "What is this about?" She looked questioningly into her friends eyes.

Lucy pinched her nose, trying to blink back the tears. "They found out that I was coaching a club here, and that I was doing well. And I wanted something bigger than the Stretford Union Blues, and so they offered me a job there as a manager for the U21s." Her voice was strained and cracking.

Steph frowned. "Who, Lucy? Who offered you a job?"

"Lyon." It came out as a whisper, Lucy was afraid to raise her voice higher.

Steph's eyes grew wide. She looked away for a moment, obviously shocked. She let out a deep breath. "Oh."

Lucy looked into Steph's eyes searchingly, her vision blurred by her tears. "What Steph? What's wrong?"

"Nothing...yet. You haven't told Keira?"

Lucy nodded her head slowly, hunching her shoulders forward, wanting to curl up and hide.

"Why?" Steph demanded.

Lucy sniffed. "You know why."

"Well then if you knew that it would break Keira if you went back to Lyon, then why did you even consider the offer Lucy!!! Did you accept?!"

Lucy bit her lip, terrified of her own answer. "Yes."

Steph turned away again. This time she wasn't shocked, she was deep in comprehension. "Wow. Ok. Well, theres only one thing to do, Bronze."

Lucy hugged herself tight, knowing exactly what Steph was going to say next.

"You need to tell Keira."

"I know."

"How long have you been keeping this from her, Lucy? Another thing youre killing yourself with that you keep to yourself...when did you accept?"

Lucy tightened her jaw, trying not to sob. "A week. A week ago."

"A week! A f@cking week! For gods sake Lucia!"

Lucy cowered, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I thought it would be good for us..."

"Good for you, you mean." There was something in Steph's voice, something bitter. Her words cut into Lucy like a knife.

"No, no!" Lucy wanted to say, to protest. "Not this time!"

"Its not like that!" Lucy cried. "This is for my family, Keira and Milly." Lucy was sharp and fragile as glass.

"In case you didn't know, Lucia, Keira and Milly are happy here."

"I know that! You think I don't know what my own fiancé is feeling! You think I don't care?! Everything I do is for them! Milly is from France, it would be nice for her to live in her home country! Keira seems...stressed I think relocation would be good for us!"

"Keira Walsh has a career here!" Steph shouted. "This is her home! Just because you want to run off, again, doesn't mean she has to follow you around like a little dog!"

"I never said she did!"

"But you expect her to go with you."

"Of course! Shes my fiancé! We have a child! We're a family! Of course shes coming with me!"

Steph shook her head. "That's just it, Luce. You have to have it your way, everytime, don't you."

"This is not about me. This is about them." Lucy's voice was sharp and shaky. She was almost frightened by the anger in Steph's eyes.

"No its not. Because its always about you." Steph's voice was nearing a whisper now.

Lucy sat there, numbly, uncomfortably with Steph's words. "What do I do?"

"Tell Keira!" Steph exclaimed, urgency in her voice.

"How?" Lucy whispered, her insides shivering as she fought back her tears.

"Gently."

Lucy looked at Steph. She wished Steph could do it for her, guide her the entire way, hold her hand through it. But she knew she had to do it alone.

"Gently," continued Steph, "but you must tell her. Immediately."

"Not tonight."

"Tonight."

She's already tired after training, she's got a big match tomorrow, I don't want to break her now."

Steph looked deep into Lucy's eyes. "Don't break her, ever. And fine, not tonight. Its been a week. I'll give you one more week and if you haven't told her..."

"I know."

"If it takes you a whole other week to tell your best friend about your new job, then you have to decline the offer. It cant be the right thing to do if its impossible for you to bring yourself to tell her about it." There was a firmness in Stephs voice but also a softness, a sympathy. She brought Lucy in for another hug. "You know what you have to do, Luce."

"I promise." Lucy nodded through her tears, leaning into Steph's chest. She wanted to stay there forever, like a little child being held in her former captain tight grip, and not have to do what she was dreading. But she knew what she had to do, she had to tell Keira.