It's a Jungle Out There

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The  next day a strange noise woke me out of my sleep

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The next day a strange noise woke me out of my sleep. I opened my eyes and I instinctively look over at Atticus. He was sitting on his bed facing the wall, which wasn't in my direction. His leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, which was the noise that woke me up.

 It was an hour before we had to get up. He was on the phone with someone and he was whispering. I tried to listen to the conversation, but I could only hear muffles from the other side of the phone. They sound like female noises. I assumed it was Britt, but Atticus sounded like he was triggered, which he never is with Brittany. 

"Britt, please don't do this." he begged. "I will take responsibility for it. I want this to work. We can get through this."

I guess it is Britt. 

Then he paused, listening to her response. Then I heard a strange noise come from his body. It was a small sniffle. It caused me to sit straight up. He didn't see me because of the direction he was turned in, but if he saw my face he would be mortified.

 My eyes were widened and my heart sank in my stomach. Atticus does not cry! Maybe he'll curse loudly, or hit something, but definitely not cry. Then his voice choked up and I fought hard not to cry with him.

"Brittany.... baby please!" he choked out looking at the ceiling. "Please don't do this."

What did Atticus do!

His breath started to pick up and I saw him pinch the bridge of his nose. He was crying! I saw his chest rise and fall. It was so freaky! He sniffles were wet sounding and his shoulders started move up and down. I wanted to just hold him.

Did he cheat?!

"No you aren't going to get my blessing on this one." he snapped, hanging up the phone afterwards.

He threw his phone on the ground, definitely shattering it. I flinched. 

That's more of the reaction I'm used to though. I took a deep breath and I did what they have always done for me. "Atticus." I called softly.

He glanced back quickly and then turned right back around. Atticus didn't want me to see him crying. I wasn't going to let him run though. "I didn't mean to wake you." he apologized, sounding broken, but trying to mask it with masculinity. "Go back to sleep."

Don't punk out Serena...

"No." I denied his command. "What's wrong."

He nodded his head and sobbed. I got out of my bed and walked over to him. I got on my knees behind him. So his back met my stomach. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and squeezed tightly, placing the cheek of my face on his cheek. He grabbed my arms and fell apart in them. 

He cried so hard that I wanted to join him. I had never seen him like that. Even when Auggie had his transplant, it was just a couple of tears. But this is like an infinite whole of hurt that he can't escape.

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