SB19 || Love Me Back

Chapter Twenty Eight

Sejun

Nasa rooftop kami ngayon at kagagaling lang namin sa studio ng company namin galing practice.

I was appreciating the view nang mapalingon ako sa ibang ka membro ko . Josh and Stell are both busy dancing in front of the camera. Alam kong nag ti-tiktok na naman ang mga ito. Si Ken naman busy panonood ng anime at si Jah naman tahimik na nakamasid lang sa kawalan.

Hindi namin formally napag uusapan pero alam namin ang nangyayari. I sighed. Alam namin lahat na may naganap na tension between Ken and Jah pero alam din naming ok na sila kasi nagbibiruan na ulit ang mga ito.

Jah was devastated when Chanie left for UK to be a nurse. She was her first love. Sabay silang pumasok sa training namin before we became SB19. Naging ka grupo namin at naging close namin ito because of Jah.

Then we met Angel. Rich kid naming kapit bahay. Naging tropa din namin ito. Alam kong kolokoy din ito katulad ni Jah kaya siguro nagkasundo agad ang mga ito. They were not official but we know whatever they had was something special. She brought smile again to Jah's face. And  then Chanie came back.

Nilingon ko si Jah. Nakatingin pa rin ito sa kawalan. Naaawa ako sa kanya. He's confuse. Alam kong alam nito na nasaktan nito si Angel. Kilala namin si Jah. Hindi ito sanay sa pressure kasi lumaki itong masagana ang buhay kaya if may mga panahong na pre presure ito, pinipili nitong walang gagawin instead of facing it. Wala pa itong diskarte sa buhay kumbaga.

Chanie on the other hand just think of him as his baby brother. I know because she is in love with someone else.

Nilingon ko naman si Ken. Tahimik itong nanonood ng Anime. Usual Ken. Palaging tahimik at parang may sariling mundo ito. Pero kahit ganito ito, super maaawain nitong tao. Ayaw na ayaw nitong nakikitang may babaeng nasasaktan kasi may kapatid itong babae na ka close nito kaya naiintindihan ko din kong nag react ito sa ginawa ni Jah kay Angel. Kahit ako ay na disappoint din naman sa ginawa niya.

Ken became kinda close with Angel after Jah ditched her kaya parang may gap na namagitan sa kanila noon.

Saaming lima, silang dalawa ni Josh and mahilig sa mga casual hook ups. Yung tipong for fun lang at walang commitment? Pero ibang klase din itong dalawang to kasi parang gwapong gwapo ito sa mga sarili nila at ang first rule nila ay agad na sasabihan ang kung sino mang ka fling nila na wala silang intention to be more than that. Bilib din ako sa mga ito kasi madali din naman ang mga tong kausap. If the girls agreed then go , if they refuses , then ok lang din sa kanila. 

Jah in the other hand is the exact opposite. He is naturally sweet and nice kaya most of the time na mis i-interpret ito. Though alam naman naming lahat na may intention talaga itong e pursue si Angel and probably he was just pressured with the situation especially nang makita ulit nito si Chanie. And I know he's no longer in love with her. He's just inlove with the idea of Chanie being his first love.

I remember Angel. Ilang buwan narin namin itong hindi nakikita. We miss her kasi naging tropa din namin ito. We can no longer reach her number and she deactivated all her social media accounts. We tried visiting her at her place these past couple of months but walang tao ang unit nito. Ang maintenance lang ng building na naglilinis ng unit nito kada Linggo ang nag sabi na nag bakasyon daw ito sa ibang bansa.

Me: " Parang ang lalim ng iniisip natin ah." Sabi ko nang makalapit sa kanya. Huminga lang ito ng malalim habang nakatingin parin sa malayo. " Na miss mo? " Tanong ko sa kanya.

Justin: " May karapatan ba akong ma miss siya? " Nilingon ako nito at malungkot na nginitian. Hindi ako sumagot at inakbayan lang siya kasi diko rin alam ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. " I know I have no right to miss her but I do. Ang sama sama ko Sejun. I ghosted her. "

Me : " Hmm.. So it's called Ghosting huh." Sabi ko sa kanya at kinuha ang kamay kong naka akbay at hinarap siya. " It's a term that makes so much sense, yet feels so dark because you know what? It isn't the right thing to do in the first place. " Mahinahong sabi ko. Kahit nakaharap ako sa kanya ay nakatingin parin ito sa malayo.

Jah: " Alam ko. " Mahinang sagot niya. Still hindi parin tumitingin sakin.

Me: " Well.. Sometimes It's the easiest option, no questions asked. " Nagkibit balikat ako pagkasabi ko. " You don't have to verbalize anything that you know will hurt someone else's feelings. You don't have to take responsibility for being the one who ended it." I continued. Kita ko sa mukha niya ang pagkagulat sa sinabi ko. Hindi siguro niya inaasahang maririnig sakin yun. " Gets ko Jah. Na-iintindihan ko. It's not fun, it's not easy, and most of the time, it's just easier to not do anything at all." I paused at tinitigan siya ng deretcho sa mga mata " But not because I understand it, that doesn't mean I agreed to it. Yeah I get it but that does not mean na tama yun. But realizing and acknowledging your mistake is a good sign. Next step mo nalang kung ano ang dapat mong gawin about it.

Tumango lang ito at hindi na nagsalita pa.

Masunuring bata

Author's Notes

Para sakin, if you ever ghosted someone, you're a trash. I don't care what the situation is, it doesn't matter. Nobody deserves to fall asleep at night wondering why they're not good enough. 

Anyway, I hope you guys did like this chapter! Don't forget to Vote & Share! 😘😘

Love lots, 

Jj ( covetfashion14 ) ❤️❤️❤️