Kingsley
Angel and I are currently in my balcony right now. Tumawag itong umiiyak kanina kaya sinundo ko agad ito sa condo nito. I looked at her and she looks very sad. Naaawa ako dito. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Kaya nanggigigil ako kay Justin for breaking my friend's heart! Alam ko namang mabuting tao si Justin but leading a girl to think there will be a future for them and ghosted her after is unacceptable!
I looked at her again. Busy ito ngayon sa phone nito scrolling pictures of her and Justin. I deeply sighed. Masokista talaga tong babaeng to! I saw her took a sip from her glass. She's drinking a ginger whiskey and blueberry red bull and I'm also drinking a grape fruit juice with vodka and three maraschino cherries.
Napangiwi ako when I remembered kung saan saang lupalop na kami napadpad kanina trying to find a Blueberry Red Bull! Wala kasi dito sa Pinas at kelangan pang e order online. Demanding pa naman ito pag depressed. Good thing at may nakita rin kami sa isang Convenient store na imported lang ang mga paninda.
Angel: " Look at us! We were so happy. " Sabi nito sabay pakita sa picture nilang dalawa ni Justin na naka wacky face. " Idiots " Narinig kong bulong niya. " I don't know if you know this , but love is a lie " Sabi niya and took another sip from her glass.
Me: " Look at you... With your pretty smile and shit. " Sabi ko sa kanya at sumandal sa railings ng balcony ko. Nasa tabi lang ako nito.
Angel: " I know right! Thank you! I told him I had a pretty smile! " Frustrated na sabi niya. I sighed. Lasing na nga talaga ito. " At this point.. I've gone through so many extremes of anger, bitterness, depression, guilt, and anxiety that my emotions just decided to switch off and go to sleep. " She added. " It's been a heavy week. I'm just... done. Over it all. hayy! I want to drink myself to sleep, for a very long time. " Nilingon ako nito at malungkot na nginitian.
She looks very sad now and I kinda feel her pain so I gave her a hug.
Me: " Don't say that OK? You're still young and you're not supposed to have your whole life figured out yet. Don't stress. Everything will be ok " Sabi ko habang yakap yakap ko siya. Kumawala ito sa yakap namin at sumandal sa railings at malungkot na tumingin sa malayo.
Angel: " Every day, I wonder if he thinks of me. I wonder if he misses me. I'll never know and it doesn't matter. " She shrugged. " I'm sad. I'm just so sad. But it's like a good sad you know? " She sounded like she's convincing herself. " Shit I guess I need to choose myself " Sabi niya at uminom ulit sa baso nito.
Me: " Exactly honey. " Tanging nasabi ko dito.
Angel: " I tend to be on stand by mode, waiting for the winds to change to the direction I want it to go. But if I keep on waiting, my life will be on hold... will be paused. "
It's actually good to hear that from her. Though at this moment alam kong she's just trying to convince herself , but knowing that she realized that is a first step.
Angel: " I may not be ok now but I know I will. " Sabi nito at nginitian ako. " I'm just so sorry to let you witness all of these " Nilingon ulit ako nito and she gave me an apologetic smile.
Me: " Just let out your frustrations and worries and anger, sadness, everything. And never apologize for how you feel because that's how you feel. And it's like you're being sorry for being real. Oh diba? Magka rhyme! " I joked na naging dahilan ng mahinang pagtawa niya . " Feelings just are. " Madramang sabi ko at nginitian ito.
Angel: " I hate this feeling but then again, it's always good to let out everything I have held in for so long every once in a while. And I may not have been good enough for him but shit I'm good enough for me and that's all that really matters. " Proud na sabi niya. " And life is too short . I don't want to take it for granted. "
Me: " So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide. " Seryosong sabi ko dito.
Angel: " I don't want my life to be like this. It isn't so productive anymore. So today, I decided to do whatever I wanna do. Let go of things that hold me back. Move on with my life even if it means leaving some people behind. "
Medyo na lungkot ako sa sinabi nito dahil alam ko kasi ang plano nitong umuwi muna sa States para mag bakasyon. But I'm also happy for her because I know she will be be Ok there.
Lumapit ito saakin at niyakap ako.
Angel : " I'm so gonna miss you. " She whispered.
Me : " I'm so gonna miss you too bitch " Sagot ko dito at gumanti na rin ng yakap.
Angel: " Life... and the rest of the world. Bring it on! " She screamed
Author's Notes
Do you ever listen to someone's problem and you have nothing to say except " I'm sorry " because there is literally no way for you to help and you get sucked into vortex of guilt and despair because you are useless? 😭
Anyway, na feel nyo ba si Angel? or si Kingsley? And who finds Angel hilarious when depressed? Because I do! lol
Anyway, hope you guys liked this chapter. Don't forget to Vote & Share and kindly follow me here on watty for updates! 😘😘
Love lots,
Jj (covetfashion14) ❤️❤️❤️
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