Living on the Streets - McLennon AU

41.

6th April, 1957

When the boys arrived in John's room, the boy shut the door behind Paul. He walked straight over to his bed, falling on top of it in his wet clothes.

"Ughhhhhhhh..." He whined into his pillow.

Paul just watched the scene in confusion. He didn't know what he should say. Around half an hour ago John and him had just kissed, in the pouring rain...

The whole day had just been so tiring for him.

"C'mon Paulie, you're allowed to sit on my bed y'know." John turned his head to look at the boy, patting the seat next to him.

"Shouldn't I... Get changed, first? I don't wanna... Y'know, soak your bed."

"It's alright, It's already drenched from me anyway." He smiled.

"Uh... Alright." Paul said, walking over to John, sitting down next to him. "Johnny..."

"Yeah?" John asked, slowly sitting up.

"Shouldn't we talk about... About everythin' that's happened?" He suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

He could see John take a breath, going serious all of a sudden. "Yeah, yeah we probably should." He sighed, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to Paul.

"Did you... Did you really want to kiss me? Or did you just do it to- to persuade me into coming here?" Paul asked, quietly, looking away from John.

But he could still feel John's eyes on him.

"Paulie, of course I wanted to kiss you..." He whispered, shocked that Paul would ever think he'd use him like that. "Ever since we met... I've, deep down, wanted to kiss you so bad."

"Really?" Paul asked, his heart fluttering. He turned back to face John.

"Yeah." John smiled. "But I found it hard, y'know?" He sighed again, looking down to the floor.

"Coming to terms with your sexuality?" Paul said, knowingly.

"Yeah... I just never thought I could be into boys, but then you came along." They both chuckled. "It scared me at first, but it was Mimi who told me that there was nothing wrong with it. And I guess I'm lucky that I had Mimi to help me."

"Yeah, you are very lucky." Paul sighed. "My dad... Well, I didn't have plans in ever telling him. But obviously, my stupid arse left my diary lying around one day. When he found it, he must have read the whole thing, because it was towards the end of the book where I began to talk about feeling those things."

"And he kicked you out for that?" John asked sadly.

"Mhm." Paul nodded, trying to stop a few stray tears from falling. He wanted to cry every time he talked about that day. "Called me a few bad things as well. Things that still hurt whenever I think about them."

Paul's hand came up to his eyes, wiping them and sniffling. John placed a hand on his shoulder, comfortingly.

"How- How was it on the streets? If you don't mind me askin'?"

"No I don't mind you asking, obviously you'll want to know." Paul reassured him. "At the beginning, without George, it was very lonely. Very. And I always felt like I was in danger, watching my back everywhere I went. But then when I met George, I wasn't alone anymore... I had somebody with me."

"How long were you out there, alone? without George?"

"A few months... But those days, I tend not to think about those. When I met George, I felt like I was myself again. The kid was so much like my brother, his mannerisms, his cheek. I immediately took it upon myself to look after him, like I said, and things got easier. Well, as easy as they can get, y'know, in that situation."

John nodded, the room being silent for a few seconds.

"Paul, what happened on that Thursday?" John asked, lightly.