Finding Her || Ryeji (✅)

Chapter 3

Yeji's POV

Being here brought back millions of memories of her. After all these years, I kept waiting for her to know the reasons of her leaving all of us, me particularly. And as you are aware with what my story with her are all about, I am still not getting any answers or clues that could lead me in finding her. Me; once being depressed due to her absence without any notice, still couldn't get over her. Yes, I already have Julia who I know will never leave me for sure, but my heart is still longing for her.

The party was already wild. Drunkards are surrounding me. I am having no choice but to get out of the ballroom to have some fresh air. I am getting annoyed with the noise inside. I was sitting in the field in which, once I saw a helpless girl. My heart is breaking into pieces as I sat on the grass. I gazed towards the stars that are filling the sky with their beauty. They are as bright and as beautiful as her smiles. Oh, I forgot to mention that this hotel was built across our high school's field. And from my seat at the field, I could see clearly my ex-classroom. I am really longing for her existence at this moment.

"And here is my princess charming. How could you leave me alone at the party," Julia stand in front of me, blocking my view towards the classroom while pouting. 'You are really cute and adorable, Julia. Why can't I love you the way I loved her? You have been with me for years but my memories with her were only for a few months long.'

"Ah I am sorry, babe. I am not feeling comfortable with those drunkards in there. It was chaotic!" I replied while shaking my head with a disgusted face.

She laughed and take a seat in front of me. She cupped her face and stared right into my eyes.

"I know why you chose this place over any other places here. You are still thinking about her. Am I right? No. I am pretty sure that you are thinking about her."

I was taken aback with her statement. I let out a really big sigh as I knew that I messed up with Julia. Right from the start of the party, until now. I couldn't resist my thoughts on her. She was conquering my mind. I am feeling burdened. I felt like a pile of stones were put onto my shoulders.

"Yeji! So, are you really THAT in love with her? Am I nothing compared to her? Don't you have even a little love for me?" Julia asked me mutinously.

I couldn't help but looked down, my eyes fallen onto the grass. I let out a sigh for the second time.

"Yes, I am madly in love with her. You are leading if I were to compare her with you. You have a lot of charms compared to her. We have been spending a lot of time compared to the times that I have been spending with her. But, instead of those leading comparison of yours, my love for her is leading compared to you. I do love you. Like seriously I love you. But it is nothing compared to my love for her. I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking of her. I tried. I really tried my best. But I couldn't deny my longings for her. I thought about you every night before I fell asleep, but I thought about her more. I stared into your pictures, but I stared into her pictures more. I love you, but I loved her more." I blurted out all of the things that was lingering in my mind at the moment. I couldn't bear it anymore. I am hating the fact that I need to face these unnecessary things.

She cried. I know that I really messed up this time. I really thought that she will leave me when suddenly she uttered words that made me froze.

"I saw her last year. I met her," she said while sobbing.

"Where did you saw her? Tell me her address! I want to meet her." I stood up as fast as I could. I am willing to run to her so badly.

"I met her at the mart. She was buying groceries."

"Is she okay?"

"She looks really great!" Julia answered while smiling. I knew that she forced that smile.

"Did both of you talked? Do you know where she lives right now?" I asked Julia continuously. 'She must be hurt by my attitude. But who cares? I missed her badly.'

"Yeji, calm down please! I know that you wanted to meet her badly. She didn't mention anything to me. She just walked away after our small chats in which, it could be considered as useless and could not help you in finding her. However, it had proven to us that she is actually alive."

"Whatever it is. Which mart did you bumped into her?"

"I doubt that you will see her there." Julia answered while sighing. 'I knew that I fucked up but really, I don't even care on Julia's feelings right now.'

"Then I will find out by my own." I insisted to search for her.

I started to walk away from Julia. The thoughts that Ryujin was still alive and healthy really gave me a soaring hope. In which, I really hoped that I will get the answer to my questions on why she left me hanging just like that.

"Yeji!" Julia yelled and grabbed my hand which made me turned to her with a rage on my face.

"Why do you always have to be the hard-headed one? You don't even listen to your mom, and it also applies to me, your fiancé. I can't believe on how stubborn you are, leaving me hanging during our meets when everything I did was related to her. I knew that you will always compare her to me. And I know that I will always lose in the battle that I don't even wanted to participate in. you are being nice to me, only as a friend. Please, Yeji. Don't give me hopes. I know that you still loved her. Can't you just tell me to get out from your life? Why must you leave me hanging like this? Just tell me that you didn't want me to be a part of your life. Just tell me that you only wanted me as a friend and not as a wife. Just tell me those things and I will understand it. It hurts to be with you being all lovey-dovey when I knew that you didn't have the heart to be like that with me. You treated me as your fiancé. But did your heart tells you the same?" Julia asked with her teary eyes.

I walked upon her. Held her face by both of my hands. Brought her into my embrace. I hugged her tightly. Her sniffles were heard clearly as she snuggled her head onto my neck. I felt the shiver as she placed her head onto my neck, however, it was not as pleasurable as what she did to me. Yes, I just couldn't stop comparing Julia with her.

I patted her back. Time passes. After she was done with her cries, she untied my hands that were wrapping her waist. She disentangled our hugs. She gave me her really warm smile which had made many other people to fall for her, including me. But still, the warm smile of hers are greater compared to Julia.

"I am sorry," is only the sentence that could escape my mouth when our eyes met.

"Stop saying you are sorry! I liked you since before the day she did. But you fell for her rather than falling for me. So, I thought that I should back off from loving you, not until she left us. And definitely not until our moms set us together." She said while staring into my eyes.

"I- "my words was cut off by her handing an envelope to me.

"Here. Someone posted this to my house, and I believed that this is from her. Your Ryujin."

'Your Ryujin.' I don't know on how much hurt did she gained by saying the two words. The words lingers in my head until Julia pinched my hand and shoving me the envelope. She giggled as I jolted back due to the pain that I received from her.

"What's with the pinching, Ms Soon-To-Be-A-Lawyer?" I tried to joke to ease the both of us from the thin air that surrounds us at the moment.

"Nothing." she shrugged.

"Julia, thank you. I am really sorry for what I did to you. I promise to make things right in its place back," I held her hands.

She took her hands out of mine and said, "Don't make promises that you will be ended up breaking. Yeji, just do whatever you need even if it means that you need to leave me. But if it don't work out, just bear in your mind that I love you and will always be waiting for you to come back to me."

"Thank you, Julia."

Julia then left me in the field. I sat down on the grass and opened the envelope.