Finding Her || Ryeji (✅)

Chapter 12

Yeddeong,

Did you go to the law school like what you have always wanted to? Did you follow your heart? I asked you this because I am following mine 😊 When I was on my way home, I remembered that you told me that you loved to hear my voice, especially while I'm rapping because I have a quite deep voice. You also wished that you could wake up to it and hear to my singings everyday. You also had once encouraged me to enter into either singing or rapping competition because you know that I will slay the stage. However, I didn't join any competition and instead, I joined Jihyo's singing classes. I wanted to improve my singing. Jihyo had also offered me to be a rap teacher here but I revoked her offer as I don't think that I could be a teacher. Besides, I'm quite inexperienced in this field. I only did it for fun. Jihyo is really a professional singer. Her singing is too amazing. I often swayed by her singing and it reminds me of your solo stage in which you performed New Rules.

I brought her a painting that I got from the Son's boutique. I gave it to her as a gift as she had been a really good listener of mine. She had always listens to my stories about you, about us, about ITZY, and everything else. However, I couldn't help myself from telling her about you. It became a habit of mine. I didn't want to accept the fact that you are not here with me anymore. Yes, seven years had passes, but still, I couldn't get over you. I constantly reminded on our memories together. I tried to move on from this feeling of mine, but I just couldn't make it.

Yeddeong, I am still in love with you. I still in need of your presence beside me. The pain is still here after all the years that had passes. I couldn't start a new life because I didn't want to forget about you. I tried to be in a new relationship before, but it is such a waste of time. My heart is still longing for you. All I want is you, and only you. Maybe it is because we don't even have a proper closure? Maybe if we separated with a proper closure then I will not be in this state? How I wish I could turn back the time. I love you so much, Yeddeong. I guess I will love you until the day I die.

With love,

Ryuddaeng

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There were smudges on the paper. It seems like she was crying while writing this letter. Again, my eyes couldn't compromise with me. Tears fell onto the paper, adding the smudges that were already there. I fell onto the floor. My legs were wobbled. I couldn't take this longing heart of mine anymore. I am too tired. I am too tired on missing her.

"Yeji, are you okay?" Chaeryoung squatted beside me while patting my back.

I couldn't answer her right away and instead I put my head onto her shoulders. I cried. I wanted to scream and say that I couldn't bear this anymore. Chaeryoung hugged me tightly. I couldn't help but cried harder. Through my cries, I could hear that the other four person sat around me.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, I am done crying. I looked up and saw five pair of eyes are looking at me with concerns are could be seen clearly beneath their pool of eyes.

"I am sorry," was all I could say. I wanted to cry more but I know that this is not the right time for it.

The other five shook their head while assuring me that I don't need to say sorry. I am allowed to express my feelings whenever I want. Ryujin is really good in choosing her friends. 'Ryuddaeng, I miss you so much. My heart aches every time I remembered you. And it means that my heart will always ache as there is not a single time I am not thinking about you.'

"Yeji, are you alright? Do you still want to go search for her?" Yuna asked cautiously. I knew that she didn't mean that she wanted to give up and instead, she is just making sure that I am good to go.