Take on Me

26

¤ Two Men in Love
The Irrepressibles ↲

When you open me
All the power in me moves
How you want to see
All the depths of me real
When you open me
All the power in me moves
I feel real

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Over the following couple of weeks, Taehyung felt more cared for, valued - loved - than he had all his life. And Jungkook was the sole reason for that fact.

Ever since telling the younger about his past, Jungkook became an active part of Taehyung's healing process. He was always by Taehyung's side, offering words of encouragement and helping him reconnect with his body. The daily torture sessions became less torturous, and were aptly renamed to daily body appreciation sessions by Jungkook.

Even that small detail - changing the way in which Taehyung viewed touching his body - helped immensely. He wasn't torturing himself when his hands met his bare skin, because he accepted that he didn't deserve to be tortured over this. Instead, he was thanking his body and valuing the things it helped him do in life. Slowly, he began to associate his touch with good feelings instead of bad ones.

And even though his mentality was growing more positive, not all days were easy. Flashbacks and uncomfortable sensations still pulled him out of the present from time to time. Though when those moments did occur, Taehyung either had Jungkook with him or words of affirmation he'd recently taped to his mirror. Both helped bring him back to reality, which he remembered was a place completely separate from his past.

The progress Taehyung made was so encouraging and each new milestone was a celebration. He was beginning to trust in his body again; he was learning how to see past the invisible scars.

Taehyung was finally accepting that what happened did not define him. He did not ask for any of it. He did not deserve to be targeted. He was not at fault and was not to be blamed.

And, maybe most importantly to Taehyung, he did not have to keep his assault a secret or be ashamed any longer. He compartmentalized his abuse for far too long, which contributed to his mind-body disconnect. But processing it now - speaking about it openly - freed him from so much of his suffering.

Taehyung also had Jungkook now, a person who encouraged him to talk about his past as many times as he needed. The younger listened intently to each word he said and never got frustrated with Taehyung when the subject was brought up. Jungkook gave him a sense of safety that he never knew existed, which helped him view the world as a less threatening place.

Jungkook had very quickly become not just his boyfriend, but his best friend. Someone he could rely on unconditionally, in both the good times and the bad. And even though they'd been dating for a little while now, there was still no pressure to engage in anything Taehyung wasn't ready for. But with each passing day, he was becoming ready for more. Not everything, but certainly more.

And soon - very soon - Taehyung was going to initiate that nice, long sex talk that Jungkook was so willing to have. It was still a little tough to think about, but he truly wanted to have a healthy sexual mindset. He wanted to view that sort of intimacy as empowering and nurturing, as a choice he had the power to make.

He'd get there.

Today, however, he was focused on something else entirely.

Arriving at the Jeons' house, Taehyung knocked on the front door and waited patiently outside. An excited smile pulled at his lips and he was nearly bouncing up and down on his toes.