The Black Girl Wanted

2. She left..

Mom had to relocate to another country with my step dad and she said she couldn't take Jaycinel and I along. I cried and begged her but she looked at me in pity and told me there's nothing she could do because her husband doesn't want my sister and I so I had to take it as my fate that I have been abandoned by mom at age 17 to take care of my five year old sister, Jaycinel.

The day mom was leaving, she gave me her credit card and promised to call me from time to time when she got there and to send me money to pay the bills and for school and food. I was crying and so was Jaycinel. She didn't know exactly what was going on but she knew mom was leaving. I told her to beg mom to stay, we begged her until it was clear to me that mom had totally chosen a man over us so I stopped crying and held Jay. Mom handed her car keys over to me and waved goodbye and then, she left.

She left and that was the last I saw of mom. I don't fucking know what came over my once loving mom that she had to leave and why she thought I could do this on my own... I haven't always been a very bold kid or very independent so I came to mom for help most times when I couldn't do it on my own. I was a good kid, for sure, and I took care of Jaycinel when mom was out or went to work but now I am left with the responsibility to take care of her until mom came back to her senses and come for us or maybe forever.

The thought of forever was driving me crazy. What if Jayci comes home one day crying that her classmate called her black ass or something stereotypical because of our colour? I might just breakdown and cry with her instead of comforting her like mom would do. Who would comfort me when my mates made fun of my colour or belief?
Is it that mom had never understood us or is that how white women behave?

Good lord, forgive me because this is also very stereotypical but my mom is just a total psycho.

My dad was a negro, a black American to be specific so Jaycinel and I happened to inherit his colour but mom was a white woman. Maybe she didn't completely understand what we pass through at school and among our mates who were white and how much of her support we needed. Maybe she didn't understand her responsibility as the only parent we had since Dad died.
Maybe. Just a lot of maybe's.

I wiped my tears as I tried to pretend that I was strong in front of Jaycinel. I took her inside and helped her to shower then I did same. I put the remaining lasagna mom made in the afternoon in the microwave. I ate my food quietly and my sister did same. This was probably the last food we would eat that is cooked by mom.
After eating, I told Jaycinel that she had to stay with me in my room tonight instead of mom's. She only nodded. I put a bottle of water and a glass on the reading table in my room in case she needed water at night. I turned off the light and laid next to her on my bed and kissed her good night even though it was just past seven pm.

It was very unusual for me or Jayci to go to bed this early. I closed my eyes after about ten minutes thinking jayci was already sleeping. But no, she couldn't sleep just like me.

"Daisy." She called me

"Yeah, Jayci." I answered her.

"Mom is gonna come back right?" I couldn't lie to her.

"Honestly, Jaycinel, I don't know." I told her.

"We both know Daisy but maybe we should still pray so she will come.'' she said

"Okay."

"I can't sleep, Daisy."

"Me too," I said honestly. "Let's just go outside and stare at the stars." I said

"Okay." She giggled excitedly.

I hope I can continue to make you happy, baby Jaycinel. I thought.
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Don't judge me before you know me - anonymous.

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A/N: This story may seem very slow from beginning but there's action afterwards. I just prefer slow pace kinda style.

Enjoy!!