Disturbed Serenity

02 - Tangled by fate

First Person Point of View

"I need money, please..." I am still sitting on the streets of Barcelona and begging for some money. Sa ilang oras kong pag-upo rito, wala pa rin akong nakukuhang pera para pangkain. The darkness filled the sky, but my stomach was still empty and needs to be filled out with a descent meal. I wish they have something free here, but everything from my understanding is costing too much.

My mind was filled by Maianne, and Sarafina. I had a lot of meltdowns, and people seemed to be weirded out of my behavior. If there are any authorities, I always find my way out of their sight. I should not be seen. 

My friends...hindi maayos ang lagay ni Maianne. I know Sarafina has an expertise of doing first aid but they are being chased out. I hope they found a safe place to stay. 

Sumikip na naman ang dibdib ko sa luhang gusto na namang tumulo. Naiimagine ko ang tawag nila sa akin na Ms. Chi. Silang dalawa lang ang tumawag sa'kin no'n. They were really nice, and one of a kind. 

Hahanapin ko sila, at Tumayo ako, baka naman kapag lumapit ako sa mga stalls rito ay mamigay sila kahit kaunti. My stomach keeps on growling since morning. My long sleep delayed my hunger because I was so tired earlier. Nag-uunahan ang gutom, at antok kanina.

I sucked all the shame I am feeling, and I know I need to beg so I can have a food to eat. It takes an effort to live. How long can I hold up?

"Hola!(Hello), can I have some of this bread?" Sana naman bigyan niya na 'ko, but by the looks of her face, she didn't like me showing on the front of her store.

"Vete!" (Go away!) I can not understand what she said. Napapikit ako. Pinipigilan ang luhang gustong gusto nang tumulo. I am also emotional because I did not eat. I can't think properly.

"Por favor(Please)... I'm hungry.." I know they understand me, and I have been to a lot of foreign places as well, because my mommy loves to travel. She wouldn't be so happy if she found me in this position.

"No! No! No!" She's mad now, and mataas ang boses kaya napagtitinginan na kami ng mga tao rito. Mommy please...Help me. I need help. Gusto ko nang magmakaawa para lang may lumabas na milagro sa harap ko.

I am just dragging my steps here in Barcelona because I everything is currently at a peak now. Peak of my hunger, loneliness, tiredness, and everything negative that I feel in my system. If earlier I have all the hope living in my heart, now there's no use to think positively if all that happens is the opposite of it.

I also didn't get a chance to get help kasi lalapit palang ako sa mga tao, nilalayuan na nila ako. Tumulo na ang luhang pinipigilan ko kanina pa. I need food, and I know my body can accept a grain of rice just so I can have something to digest. 

My family is a very large deal in the Philippines, and I did not expect that this will happen to me. I know this is the unseen circumstances to be in a family that is wealthy and powerful. I never wanted to be like them, I love my family but I value what I want.

All of them respected my decision that is why what I am used to is having a lot of bodyguards with me. I know I have been a sheltered girl, but it doesn't mean that I can't learn. I love learning, but this learning that I am in right now is so painful. 

I miss my brothers too. I need to protect them because they are my babies. Sa tagal akong naitago ni Lucy, ang dami niya na sigurong plano para sa company ni daddy. I know she can easily manipulate things. What I don't know is where she came from, and what is her main agenda. I know money can be a valid reason to be greedy, but...

I sighed.

She needs to know the savings my parents have, and I cannot give her where is that secret funds. Ganoon ba talaga nalalason ang isip ng mga tao sa pera? Is money really a weapon for madness?