Disturbed Serenity

04 - Touch of pleasure

First Person Point of View

Inangat niya ang kamay niya, at dinikit ang daliri nito sa'kin para punasan ang luha ko.... His face softened while seeing me cry. I admit, masyado akong na-carried away. I ackwardly smiled at him and got the handkercheif he offered earlier. After I wiped my tears, he looked like he wanted to say something, but I did not mind it. I have nothing to say because I'm left speechless...or I just prefer not speaking at all. 

The feeling of trusting again is not comfortable after what happened.

The paper bags filled the floors of the room, and it was enough for me to have a decent clothes for the days I think I am gonna spend here. It makes me guilty not to say something. I know I am not the one to be blamed by this, however it also pains my heart if this will not still go well.

We catch each other's stares, and his hands was casually inside the pocket of his pants. He looks so lean, and I feel that his physique is very useful for productive things. I shook my head, and he just continues to watch me. My thoughts are going wild now that I am not speaking.

"I'll help you to organize this..." He got all the bags, and held on to his hands.

The gesture made me more guilty that I went in his way to show that I will do it instead him. Sa kabilisan ng galaw ko, my hands landed on his chest...

My eyes widened at my move. He is left confused while he raises his brows. Immediately, my hands left his firm body. I was out of balance when I did all that almost at the same time, and he immediately held my waist for support. Goodness me...I am with a man!

Hindi ko alam paano biglang nakarating ang kamay niya roon! It is very timely for me, and why am I making a scene. This is so crazy. I have never had first hand experiences like this before.

I saw the corners of his lips rise but managed to control it. He removed his hands on my waist after everything that happened. Don't tell me his enjoying this?

"On the left corner, there's a door, you can put your clothes inside the vacant cabinet..." Napansin kong dala na rin niya ang mga gamit ko, mabilis lang akong tumango never minding the scene I made earlier. Kinuha ko na rin ang gamit.

While we tried to fix the clothes he bought, he continued giving instructions.

"For later, you can sleep on the bed. I have no extra room so we'll be staying together inside my room. I'll sleep on the couch."

Napatingin ako sakan'ya galing sa binubuksan kong paperbags. Hindi na napigilan ng mata kong manlaki sa nasabi.

"I'm fine." It's like he read my mind.

Our eyes met, and my eyes slightly checked how he was looking at me right now. I am trying to read his reactions and his body language, but I can't seem to understand everything he does.

His usual outfit is just plain polo shirts and pants. I tried to shook my head to remind myself I was in front of him! Gosh. Hindi ako masyadong sanay sa mga lalaki na mas matanda sa akin dahil puro babae lang naman ang mga naging kaibigan ko Maybe he is just nice. Too nice.

I cannot help but think about his gestures, and if our situation was a normal one, maybe I would have a crush on him. Pero alam ko na hindi naman iyon mangyayari dahil mabuti lang talaga siyang tao sa akin.

"Do you feel comfortable?"

A day has passed again for me, and him. Tahimik lang kaming kumain ng dinner, at ginawa ang kailangan gawin sa bahay niya. Wala naman kasi akong masabi. Hindi rin siya nangungulit. It made me feel okay...a little. I still have so much doubts and questions however there's a lot of things that hold me back. I know this is my trust issues fighting for its life.