Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 11 - Confrontation sucks

Little update: I didn't really find anywhere to sleep. I mean, where could I have gone? After I left my room, I attended my last few classes and then aimlessly walked around campus. Because around here, I basically only had Nick and my teammates and I didn't want them to think less of me. So the only other option would have been to meet one of my old hook ups, but that would definitely mean sex and after all this drama, that was the last thing on my mind. I could have gone to a hotel or motel, but in the end, I decided to save my money. 

So until three in the morning, I sat in a little diner right next to my campus, drinking coffee to keep me awake and trying to study, which didn't really work, but at least I looked busy and strangers wouldn't approach me. Around three in the morning, I couldn't pretend to be busy anymore, so I payed and walked back to campus. I know was so stupid... so so incredible stupid, especially since I had a perfectly fine bed waiting for me, just upstairs and a guy who would cuddle me so hard and beg for forgiveness, I could have slept like an angel. 

But that wouldn't resolve anything. I needed to actually think for once. Not overthink, just let his words and their actual intentions sink in. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me and was just scared and confused, but still, it stung like a stab in the chest. So I stayed and walked around campus, until I took a quick nap in the locker room, waking up before my team mates would appear and ask questions I wasn't ready to answer. I took a quick shower, since I stunk and then I had the worst training in the history of trainings ahead of me. 

I had been tired at practice before. I mean, sometimes I would go there after a whole night of partying, but now, it was like I had been run over by 15 trucks and one grandma in a wheelchair. I couldn't focus at all and my limbs felt weak and tired. Midway through the training, coach pulled me aside and asked again, if I had been taking drugs and was now going cold turkey. After I had promised him, that I just didn't sleep at all, he let me sit this one out and actually sleep another round on the uncomfortable benches in the locker room. I wasn't just tired from not sleeping, I could have handled that, but I think everything with Nick and my strong emotions, I was just tired out by keeping them bottled up. 

Afterwards, I dragged myself to my first class and I was barely able to keep my eyes open during the whole lecture. My mood was at its worst and I sipped on another coffee, feeling slightly less tired, but still very bad emotionally. I heard a scoff next to me and I turned my head, only to look into Micheals or Marks or whatever his name was, face, who shook his head, staring at me while I supported my head with my arm, looking like I had partied for three weeks straight. 

"Did your new boyfriend do you too hard last night?" he scoffed and ok, I was so done with him by now. I cleared my throat, sitting up straight and looking at  Matt, who gulped, because of how intimidating I looked and that was exactly my intention. And in one swift motion, I gave my cup of coffee to go a quick nudge, making it fall into his lap and spilling the burning hot coffee all over his crotch. Matthew jumped up, yelling in pain "Motherfu- ow fuck!" 

"Whoops" I said with a blank expression and Matt looked almost shocked as he quickly fled the classroom and towards the next bathroom, to get some cold water on his tiny dick. The professor looked at me a little weirdly, but I honestly didn't care. I got a few stares but I just went back to being half asleep and trying to listen at least a little bit. The rest of the lesson was just straight up boring, until my phone buzzed, signaling that I had an incoming g call and I quickly excused myself, because the caller ID showed the one person I really wanted to talk to. 

"Blake! Oh thank god, I really need a sane person right now!" I exclaimed and I heard Blake chuckle on the other end. 

"Uh ok? Weirdo. Why, whats up?" he asked and I opened my mouth, but immediately closed it again. I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't just say: Well, you see, basically me and Nick make out now and I thought he liked me, but he just wants to experiment, because I'm a slut or whatever and I don't know, for the first time ever, I just want a normal relationship and I don't want to fuck this up and oh also, I nearly got raped, any thoughts on that?? No I couldn't...