Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 16 - Flying home

"You can let go of my hand now" I said, while everybody stood up and got their hand luggage, ready to leave the plane. Nick had been a mess the whole flight. Even before we took off, he was clutching onto me like we were about to crash any second now. I let him, although his grip was really tight and a little annoying, because he held onto me for the whole five hours that it took us to get back to Pine Hill. Nick looked down at our intertwined hands and then back at me, who was a little annoyed at that point, but not necessarily by Nick, but you know...traveling. 

"Yeah I know" he replied, a cheeky grin on his face and I rolled my eyes, but couldn't press down the smile. Nick brought our intertwined hands close to his face, before pressing a kiss on the back of my hand. I bit my lip, looking at Nick. I didn't really know what else to call him, since we yet had to figure out, how Nick could overcome his fear and just be with me. But at least I knew how he felt about me and that made my heart beat faster just thinking about it. 

"Come on, lets go before we are the last ones" I said and Nick finally let go of my hand, so I could get my hand luggage and he his own, before we left the plane, receiving a nice goodbye from the stewardesses on our way out. Nick caught up to me on our way to the baggage claim, shyly reaching for my hand again and I let him. We intertwined our fingers once more, because now, we could still act the way we did in private and I smiled at Nick, who had a wide grin plastered across his face and looked really excited. 

"Man, I'm so ready to meet the gang again! Blake, Romeo, Luke, Amelie, Cody...I really missed them" he said and I nodded, because I had really missed those idiots as well. They were basically family and it sucked that we all went to different colleges now. "Oh! We should have drinks with them tonight! You know, like the old days!" Nick said and I chuckled, because he seemed to have forgotten that most of them were in a relationship now. 

"I don't think we will see much of Romeo these next few days, because Blake is going to claim him as soon as he lands. Oh and Cody and Amelie are also inseparable. I think we will have to wait for tomorrow to meet them all, but I mean, its late, so I think we should get some sleep as well" I said and Nick laughed at me mentioning how Blake is so not going to get out of his bedroom with Romeo any time soon. They were probably banging right now. 

We got our baggage and were heading for the exit, where Nicks family and my dad were going to wait for us, bringing us to our beloved homes. "So, should I sneak through your window tonight?" Nick asked, wiggling his eyebrows, but his words actually didn't turn me on one bit. I sighed, stopping in my tracks for a moment, looking at a slightly terrified and confused Nick. I didn't want to bring the mood down, but he had refused to have a conversation about this the last few days. After we had our 'deep talk' or whatever and cuddled all day, we basically just spend the last few days packing and studying for our last exams before the break, which all went well, but since then, he never really wanted to talk about the problem we had. 

"Nick, I am not your secret. Well, I am but then please, let us pretend like we don't love each other for five days, which still sucks, but I will not have somebody sneak through my window or me having to go through the back door at night just to hook up. That ended when I finished meeting married strangers in motels, so their wives wouldn't find out. Its just not...I don't want that, ok? Can you respect that? I don't want to force you out of the closet, but you also can't ask me to be ok with feeling like I am being used, ok?" I asked and Nick looked a little saddened by my words. Either because he really wanted to continue 'experimenting' or because he knew all of this hurt me. 

"I know...I'm sorry..." Nick said and I hated seeing him like this, so I laid my arm around his shoulders, pulling him close, so I could press a kiss to his temple. "I know" I said and Nick smiled, a little bit of sadness visible on his face, before he lifted my head with his finger, leaning in and pressing his soft lips to mine one last time for five fucking days. Especially five days where we still saw each other every day. This would be harder than I thought. It juts...I really didn't want to be that guy who forced people out of the closet, but I just...I couldn't do this without any kind of commitment anymore. At least for us, in private. I just got hurt one too many times, you know?