Beautiful & Broken. BTSxJIMIN

10

Jungkook sat on his bed in the room he shared with Hoseok.

He rubbed his hands together, as he looked down between his spread legs.

There was a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in." He said softly, looking up.

Namjoon came and sat next to him, greeting him quietly.

The boys sat in silence for a moment, before Namjoon spoke up.

"What's going on, kook? Everyone's kind of worried about you. You skipped dinner, you're cooped up in here. You haven't really talked to anyone or said anything since you stormed out of class. Is there something on your mind?"

Jungkook's heart sank. He looked over at his hyung.

The genuine concern in Namjoon's eyes made him feel awful for making him worry.

He looked down and sighed.

"Have you ever...been doing something one way for so long that once you realize that maybe there's another, better way of doing it, you feel like you can't...or shouldn't...change things?"

Jungkook shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain it really."

Namjoon looked at Jungkook deeply.

"No. I know exactly what you mean."

Jungkook looked at Namjoon.

Namjoon looked at his hands.

"You feel trapped. Obligated to do things one way just because other people expect you to, or because you feel you're not strong enough to break the cycle...or better yet, you're scared to because you don't want things to change."

Jungkook let out a breath he felt like he'd been holding in his whole life.

"You...put it into words.." Jungkook whispered.

Namjoon nodded softly and smiled ambivalentely.

"My...dad used to always beat me if my report card didn't have straight A's."

He shook his head.

"I know you know that, but I never told you how bad it was. He'd...grab my mother by her hair, sit her on the couch, and force her to watch as he bloodied me with his bare fists. Sometimes she'd try to convene but..."

He rubbed his hands together.

"He'd beat her...and then he'd beat me until I passed out, saying it was her fault my beating was worse because she tried to get in the way of my discipline..."

He chuckled humorlessly.

"...All this over letters on a fucking piece of paper."

He sighed.

"I did things his way for so long, and in the end I still got beat, no matter what I did. When I turned 16, I'd saved enough to live on my own, and that's when all of us decided to get a place together. That's the point in my life when I decided to do things the way I wanted to do them. That's when my life changed for the better."

He smiled softly at his dongsaeng.

"Always do what you feel is right, kiddo. Don't let anything, or anyone hold you back from what you think is best for you. Never forget that."

He pat Jungkook's back, and a few moments of silence went by before Namjoon stood up.

"Come join us when you've made your decision."