{ #5 } Eclipse Of The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 45 - Hell Fire

Eclipse Of The Moon ~ Book 1 of Aaron
Chapter 45
Hell Fire

Wednesday 12 November 2003

Resist, Aaron... You can do this...

Temptation is such a difficult vice to fight against. I would bet my ass that this twink standing by the phone booth further in the street is a dealer; I saw him nervously looking around while handing a small thing to a girl before she ran away. Yielding to my former addiction sounds appealing and soothing my inner turmoil with a joint would be so easy.

I had the presence of mind to take my backpack before I left home. My wallet's inside and I have enough cash to buy a chunk of hash. I would just have to walk to the guy, flip out a twenty, say one word, and get the pot. It's four in the morning, not many people out on the streets, it would be fast and easy.

Don't be a loser, Ron. You promised yourself you'd never relapse. Your promised them you'd never fall back into the trap...

Ugh...

Do I want to disappoint my best friends?

Am I ready to shatter all of Ivan's efforts to dry me out from my addiction?

Am I willing to give up on the bit of self-will I found in myself thanks to my savior's determination?

No way. Not for such an insignificant annoyance. I am not diving back into my former vice for so little.

I have been aimlessly roaming the streets of Glendale for more than five hours now, unconsciously reaching Skid Row which is a totally different scenery from Ivan's neighborhood and I am getting tired. I shouldn't be here struggling with my urge for a quick and easy fix. I should be home and talking things through with Ivan. He might be worrying.

Might? You've got to be kidding, Aaron! He was relentlessly trying your phone until you stupidly detach the battery from the device!

Nevertheless, I can't resolve to head back home just yet. Am I shocked by what I saw in the dimmed room?

Yes, probably.

Or maybe not.

I don't know.

I feel so confused.

Tearing myself from the temptation, I head away from this neighborhood and drag myself to more comfortable areas of Los Angeles. My eyes are stinging from tiredness and my feet ache from so much walking, but I don't really care as long as my legs carry me forward. I stop by a coffee shop to get myself a tea and end up sitting on a bench in a park. The hot beverage burns my throat and the brew is definitely not as good as the varieties Ivan uses at home, but it still brings me a bit of comfort and the warmth I needed.

In my rush to escape Ivan as he was roaring my name, I just flew down the staircase, grabbed my backpack in the entrance hall and hurried out of the house, knowing the man wouldn't dare follow me in such... light and weird clothing. Fall is still a warm season in southern California, but the nights get fresh, so after what has been an endless day and only wearing a thin long-sleeved tee-shirt beneath my hoodie, I am getting cold.

With a sigh, I retrieve the pack of cigarettes and the lighter I bought earlier and pull out one of the twenty nicotine rolls, closing my eyes as I hold it between my index and middle fingers. My initial thought had been to tear one of those death sticks and use its tobacco to make myself a joint once I had found some hash, but I'm glad – and proud – that I resisted my desire to get high. Losing myself in the short-lived daze of feeling better was tempting, yet I know that it wouldn't solve the problem I am facing now.