{ #5 } Eclipse Of The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 47 - Master Ivan

Eclipse Of The Moon ~ Book 1 of Aaron
Chapter 47
Master Ivan

Friday 14 November 2003

"I want you as my Dominant," I say with the strongest determination I can muster, staring straight into Ivan's brown eyes.

Their chocolate color immediately obscures to the darkest shade of black, and intense lust and self-satisfaction fill Ivan's cloudy eyes.

Why the heck does that make my cock harden!? I'm not particularly looking forward to the submissive phase I'm about to enter.

I am no Submissive.

I am no bottom.

However, if this is what it takes to become a Dominant and a member of the Hell Fire, I will go through whatever Ivan deems necessary.

One condition, though. I want him as my Master.

Him. And. No. One. Else.

Other than attending my last driving lesson, I spent the rest of my Thursday drowned into the books Ivan brought me yesterday. Now, although these books contained a lot of text and very few pictures – Eww... all of straight couples at that! – this sort of literature was more interesting than Hawthorne's, Steinbeck's or Faulkner's novels. I would have developed a passion for reading had I been provided with such textbooks at school.

I have yet to finish them, but all this theory on BDSM has highly increased my curiosity towards the lifestyle I discovered on Wednesday night. It incredibly heightened my attention for a realm I would gladly bask in. I couldn't stop flipping through each volume, page after page, getting more and more entranced by the notions explained. I was surprised to find all these explanations so clear, as if the language was a familiar one.

I learned a lot about the roles of Dominant and Submissive. I was fascinated by the alchemy reigning between the Dom and the Sub: surrender, powerfulness, trust, respect, communion. All notions that I have acquired over the past five months around Ivan and that I have come to value dearly.

What I admire is that it's not only about sex. Of course, having been introduced to BDSM in a kinky club and having seen what happens there, I gather that sexual activities play a preponderant part in this lifestyle, but I highly regard all the other conditions it involves beyond sex. Like Ivan explained, some people choose to only indulge in the sexual part of BDSM, but others apply its concept to broader aspects of their lives, and I find this amazing.

These books obviously related numerous similar cases and I was deeply touched by some of the stories, bewildered by the way BDSM saved the lives of many people who were hurtling down bumpy and tricky slopes down to hell, who needed guidance from steady and powerful men and women. One of them was about a runaway girl in the early 80s when she was a teenager. The young girl thought she could start a new life on her own at 15, but all she got herself into in five years of solitude was homelessness, drugs and prostitution, until she was rescued by a man after she almost died of an overdose.

This had to ring a bell in my head, right? Story of my life...

Ivan's revelations about the way he handled my own piteous person somehow bugs me. I have always thought myself to be a strong guy, one who is level-headed, but I can't disclaim that I did fuck up back then. Deep down, I know that I own the backbone to one day become a very good Dominant, but as Ivan claimed, I may not be ready for that yet because it requires a certain maturity, an experience of life, and a huge level of stability that I don't have at the moment if I'm honest to myself.

And yet...

How exultant can it be to grab a fledgling under one's wing, protect a bruised soul from harm, deliver a weaker being from its darkness, push a fragile creature on a healthy and safe path?