Avowal // pjm [COMPLETED]

Dating Men

Quae POV

My phone vibrates on the marble kitchen counter top. Incoming call from Taehyung. "Yeah?"

"Pizza's on its way. It'll probably be there before I will." Tae says through the speaker. I hear rustling.

"What are you doing, Tae? What's that sound?" I listen closer trying to figure out what the sound is.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be home in a few. I told the delivery guy to buzz three short times so you know it's him. Later." The line disconnects before I can listen more.

When I left the apartment nearly two weeks ago, I sat and cried at the bus stop. Almost as if on cue, Taehyung pulled up in his car and offered me his spare bedroom. His roommate recently moved out and he had the space.

I uncomfortably accepted as it was my only option and I've been here since. Taehyung has asked nearly everyday if I want to talk about why I was at the bus stop and why I'm no longer talking to Jimin and I politely tell him to mind his own fucking business.

Taehyung's apartment is bigger than the one Jimin and I shared and in a better part of the city. I guess those are the perks of having a bomb ass job. He's a Video Game Quality Assurance Tester which, the way he described it to me, just sounds like he's got a job playing video games all day.

When Tae and I met in university, we discovered we shared video games as a common interest. He got a kick out of my gamertag 'QuaeIzGae' and asked how I went from my birth name of Lilith to Quae.

Jimin was the one who came up with it when we were fourteen and started gaming stating I'd get less flack for being named 'something cool like Quae' when we gamed online than being called Lilith. I, in turn, told him 'Quae is gay'.

The corner of my mouth turns up with the memory of teenage best friends. I lean my head back blinking tears away when I hear three buzzes from the door. I grab a tip from my wallet and head to the door opening it without hesitation.

I wish I'd hesitated.

There stands Jimin, his hair unkempt and his five o'clock shadow now at about seven-fifteen. His eyes bloodshot and decorated with bags from lack of sleep, he gasps when he sees me. "Qua-Quae! You're here?"

"That's what it looks like." Damn it. Now I have to find somewhere else to hide out. I turn around and walk back into the apartment.

Jimin closes the door behind him and follows me like a lost puppy. "Have you been at Taehyung's this whole time?"

"Where else was I going to go, Jimin? I didn't feel comfortable in my own apartment anymore. There weren't a whole lot of options for me and I had to sleep somewhere." I plop down on the sofa and grab the remote.

Jimin grabs the remote from my hand. "Don't call me that. It's Ji to you and it always has been and always will be. Please talk to me, Quae. I need to hear from you about that night. I've fought with my mind since you left and I need to know. Please."

"We fucked. Or rather, you fucked me, but that's what you were hoping for, wasn't it? So you got your wish and dropped all your subconscious bullshit at my door then passed out in my bed sucking on my titty. End of storytime."

Jimin drops his head. "So I didn't imagine it. What did I say?"

"You mean to tell me you remember absolutely nothing about that night? Well that's convenient, isn't it? Because I remember every fucking part of it." I stand and pace back and forth in front of the coffee table with my arms crossed.

Jimin stands and walks over to me stopping me from walking. He puts his hands on my shoulders and with pleading eyes says, "Please tell me. All of it."

"You fucked me on the balcony. I cried. You consoled me with some bullshit line you probably used a million times to make other chicks believe they were the first. You kissed me more and packed me to my bedroom. We -" I choke back sobs. I turn my back to Jimin and cover my face with one hand unable to continue.

He walks up behind me enclosing me in his arms. He places his head on my shoulder. "We made love. It was deeply intimate and we took our time. When we were done, I told you I was in love with you and had been for years. I saved myself for you." His lips brush my neck as he speaks.

"Why would you say that to me? What type of sick thrill did you get from unloading your conscience on me?"

"I thought you should know. Nobody means more to me than you do, Quae. I'd do anything for you. Please don't hate me for feeling the way I do. I don't know why I decided to tell you that night. I guess somewhere in my drunk mind, I thought that -"

I step away turning to face Jimin. "You thought I would magically turn straight and start dating men? Is that it? What the shit?"

"Not dating men. Just one."