Avowal // pjm [COMPLETED]

Options

Quae POV

"I think Taryn will give you one of two options. Option A: Break up and move out or Option B: Cut off all contact with me." Ji shifts slightly under me to lay down on the sofa comfortably keeping me attached to his chest.

"I don't like either of those options."

"Neither do I. One would hurt you more and the other hurts us both. I can't honestly say I would be distraught if you were single again, though." He smirks with a tiny chuckle.

"Naturally you won't be. Ass." I laugh into his neck closing my eyes enjoying the way we feel against each other.

"I really wouldn't be. That way you would seriously consider marrying me instead."

I can feel his seriousness in my heart. I raise my head to look him in the eyes. "Why would you say such a thing?"

The love in his stare explains more than he ever could. "I told you I am in love with you, Lilith. I never want to spend another second of another day away from you. You completely satisfy my soul and if you would have me I would love to be your husband."

"It's just for the sex, isn't it? Whatever this is between us is just between us. I don't find men attractive."

"Which is totally not a deterrent," he laughs. "I actually like the fact that I would be the only man in your life. I know that sexually you will want to be with women and I don't want to change that. That is you and I love you for who you are, but I don't think I could deal with never having you near me again. If you marry me, we'll always have this between us, just us, even if you meet someone else."

"How do you know I won't meet someone else and end up wanting to be exclusively with them and break your heart again?" I ask stroking his hair away from his face. I can't believe how beautiful he really is.

I swear I see a twinkle in his eyes and my heart swells with emotion. I gasp at the sensation.

"After feeling me just now, would you really do that?"

"Would you honestly be okay with me sleeping with women in the same house as you? You couldn't deal before." I can't seriously be considering this.. can I?

Ji raises his head to brush his nose against mine lovingly then lays his head back and contently smiles. "As long as I get to share my life with you, come home to you and spend everyday with you, you never have to share my bed again unless you choose. I will say I do hope occasionally you will consider it though."

I close my eyes, returning my face to his neck. My throat tightens before I speak. "You will want children someday. I'm not sure I will ever be able to give you that. It's not fair to you."

"If and when the time is ever right, it will happen. You can't change fate. For now, all I need is you." He slides his hand between us using the back to smooth my lower stomach. "I want to make sure your heart has fully healed before we talk about creating another life."

"This is crazy, you know that right? Nobody will understand."

"No one else has to understand our relationship. It's ours and ours alone so as long as we're happy to hell with everybody else." He kisses my forehead, wrapping his arms snugly around me. "I don't suppose you can stay the night, can you?"

"I have to talk to Taryn," I raise from his arms and the loss of contact is devastating. I cross my arms over my chest looking around the floor for the shirt I took off.

Ji reaches up grabbing both of my arms by the wrists and pulls them down to his chest. He presses his swell into my center looking through his lashes. "Please come home to me."

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Jimin POV

I finish my fifth rep before dropping from the pull up bar and turn to the clock. It's almost three thirty in the morning. Quae has been gone for nearly six hours. I twist my head side to side popping my neck and shaking my arms and legs out.

As time has passed, it's become harder and harder to breathe. The lump in my throat has grown with every tick of the second hand and I now sniff choking back sobs.

She's not coming back.

I finish another rep before the tears fall and I double over in agony bawling my eyes out. I drop to all fours wailing as the air around me has thinned and turned cold.

She's gone.

I curl into a ball on the floor crying into myself until the sun rises. I don't know how much longer I stay that way before I fall asleep.

When I awaken, I drag myself over to the floor beside the sofa. I can't tell what time of day it is because the outside reflects the way I feel inside, dark. A storm has rolled in with thunder and the lightening illuminates my living room. I look at the clock and see it is now nine fifteen in the morning.

Twelve hours ago I had Quae in my arms.

Last night all seems like a dream, a beautiful perfect masterpiece I wish I never had to wake up from. I can't believe I lost her again even after she finally felt how I've been feeling for years.

My phone rings and Taehyung's name appears on the screen. I answer weakly.

"Did I wake you, Jimin?" he asks. His voice is too chipper so early in the morning.

"No, Tae. I'm awake. What's up?" I rub my eyes, feeling how much they've swollen.

"Do you mind holding on to some old things for me for a while? I packed them up and really don't want them sitting around my house.. the whole Hoseok situation and all."

I clear my throat. "Yeah, sure. When are you coming by?"

"I was actually out right now and could swing by if that's okay. Oh, hey, how did you like the surprise last night? Was it good seeing Quae again?"

Tears start to form again and I choke them back. "Are you busy today? I kind of don't trust myself to be alone right now." Taehyung knows what I went though losing Quae the first time and how close I was to the edge. I hope he understands what I mean now.

"Just hang on buddy. I'm on my way. Stay on the phone with me, okay?" I hear Taehyung's engine rev. He's trying to hurry to get to here.

Ten minutes pass and there is frantic knocking on my door. Taehyung has kept a conversation going about anything that comes to mind just to keep me distracted. "I hear you, Tae. I'm coming."

I drag myself sluggishly to the front door feeling a strange warm air. "Damn it, Jimin. Open the door!" Taehyung growls over the phone.

"I'm here," I say over the phone and through the door. I feel goosebumps all over my body and my heart flutters. I end the phone call as I open the door and am slammed with a body knocking the wind out of my lungs.

Taehyung stands in the doorway, his chest heaving. His face searches me for any sign of harm with a stressed look of concern. "You asshole."

My soul has soothed feeling Quae's body against me again. She holds me around my shoulders sniffling into my neck. "What the fuck, Ji? What were you going to do?"

Closing my eyes, I enclose her frame in my arms and cry. "I thought you left. I couldn't lose you twice in the same lifetime."

"I called Tae to help me move. Taryn and I broke up so I decided not to wait on leaving. We've been driving for hours to get back here. Please tell me you haven't done anything." She smooths my hair with both hands and wipes my cheeks with her thumbs while she looks me over.

"So you're single now?" I question with wide hopeful eyes.

"Only if you've changed your mind about marrying me."