MY LIGHT IN THE DARK

Chapter 4

Even so Sei ignore all of his feeling, he thought that this will all go away since he already use to it before Yuko comes into his life.

Weeks turn into months, what he thought will go away it didn't go away.

Instead he feels even more lonely than usual, he begun to lost interest in other woman. The only thing that can make him a little bit ease is when he hang out with his friend at the bar.

But when his at home, the feeling of lonely always there.

His confused, what exactly makes him feel this way.

Before he met Yuko, this kind of loneliness is what he already use to it. Even when he was still a child back then.

When his mother run away with other man, his father started to come home more less. Letting the butler and maids took care of him.

He could count with his finger the times when his father return home for awhile before he continues his business not only in the country but also his business at oversea.

Back then he was still hoping for his parents love but as time goes by, he understood that both his parent would never pay any attention to him.

Thus he was treaded as just a nuisance in their life, since both his parents were married because of an arrange marriage.

So he started to treat the loneliness as his shield towards the world. He became cold and expressionless.

He treats woman like clothing, because he couldn't not forgive what his mother had done the day she left him.

He remembers well, how he cried..plea his mother to stay but his mother didn't turn around and look at him.

Her face didn't show any sign of feelings at all.

She just took her luggage after she put all her things inside, she storm out of the mansion.

Outside, he saw that there is a man whom lead beside a sport car then he saw that his mother begin to smile.

When both his mother and the man get in the sport car, Sei still didn't give up. He runs out to chase his mother, screaming not to go. But the sport car never stop until it was out of sight.

He couldn't keep up with it, he just stood there at the roadside.

Even when the butler came to take him home, he was till in shocked.

His still believe that his mother didn't left him, he couldn't accept it.

Not until the reality of it have been shoved to him by his father when his father return home.

His father comes home in a state of drunk, the butler and his father's driver were help him to go upstairs to his room.

Sei get close to his father and ask him why did his mother left, even in a state of drunk his father could still talk like he wasn't drunk at all.

And when his father heard him ask about his mother, his father gets mad for unknown reason. His father shout at him saying that his mother left because she didn't love him, that he was just a nuisance child to her.

Sei didn't want to accept what his father had told him.

So he keep waiting for his mother to return home, but until he became a teenager he finally accept what his father told him was true.

After all the years that he waited, never once his mother shows up nor have any news about her whereabouts.

Not until he is 20 when he finally find out where his mother live.

His mother remarried and have a 10 year old son. When Sei arrived at where his mother live, he was about to approach his mother but then he hear a child calling his mother.

Then he saw how the child runs towards his mother and smile at her, and he also could see the motherly expression that his mother shows to the child.

He felt that he was struck by lighting, he felt an extreme heartache,angry.

When he was a child, never once that his mother shown a motherly love towards him but this child that he saw. Have all the love from his mother.

He no longer wanted to see this scene, so he left and promise to himself that he will never again seek his mother love.

There no such thing is love.

If he didn't not seek love, then he wouldn't be in so much pain. That's why he never again needed love. Love is a nuisance.

But the wall he build around his heart have been crumble down by Yuko but it wasn't complete, he still build it back and that's why he hurt Yuko with his word.

Their social differences is big, he was born with a silver spoon while she was born as an ordinary person.